Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say,
I really need to nail this one or I will lose,
I've really gotta say,
To be a joke now look,
I am a master of Croquet,
Remember when I broke my foot,
From smashing down my mallet on it,

I Love Croquet,
I Love Croquet-et-et-et,
I Love Croquet-et-et,
It's my favorite sport.

What will it take to show you that it's really fun to play, (I Love Croquet)
I've told you time and time again, (I Love Croquet)
you hit the ball and through the pins it swings,
you got it through and now i'm stoked,
For the last time take a good hard look,

I Love Croquet,
I Love Croquet-et-et-et,
I Love Croquet-et-et,
It's my favorite sport.

GUITAR! (guitar solo)

Forget about the skill it took,
The photographs your teacher took,
You said it looked like a 3d book with the edges gapping over and over,

I'm Croquet,
I'm Croquet-et-et-et,
I Love Croquet Now,
But you really need to watch and learn from me,
Because I'm telling you the truth, and I mean it,
I love Croquet, (Trust me)

I Love Croquet,
I Love Croquet-et-et-et,
I Love Croquet-et-et,
Well I Love Croquet,
I love Cro-bloody-quet,
I love Croquet-et-et,
I love Croquet-et (et-et)!