I’m Madonna’s rack
I’m a Pussycat pack
I’m an SNL jig
To a backing track
I’m Av’rage Lavigne
Cannot complicate
So I just work it, lame, onstage

Yeah I’m Taylor Swift
And Beyonce, too
These cannot-sing-le-ladies put a ring on boring, dude
Still my money spends
And yes, I buy their tunes
Cause all I see are their fantastic boobs

And they’ve got racy style
See-through silk lacy tights
Why croon, why croon
To make such bling?
They hardly mind
They’re never heard
Why ever sing?

Yeah I’m scared as hell
Of that Britney’s yell
But in tight C-cups
Well, it’s clear she sells
Look at Miley’s wig
Look at Fergie’s face
Not really music, but it sure does pay

And I can’t achieve
A Rihanna tan
And I sweat to shrink my waist
Like Colbie Caillat – can’t
The talent’s dumbed down, hey,
But the trend is true:
People always praise the semi-nude

And I miss Ba-by Spice
Blonde hair, no brains, just right
Untuned, ballooned
A pair that springs!
Like LeAnn Rimes
Or Jenni-fer
Why ever sing?

They la-la-la-la-la-lip-sync
They la-la-la-la-la-lip-sync

They’re tone-deaf! Lazy pipes
Watch as they lamely mime
She’s mute, she’s mute
This freakin’ stinks
Turn on their lines
Let’s make them heard,
They’d better si-i-iiing…

Celine Dion…
Hey, why’s HER mic on?
I wish she’d never sing.

No, no.

Please la-la-la-la-la-lip-sync!
Oh la-la-la-la
La, la la faaaaackin’ hurrah.