I left home one day, and I wouldn’t listen
I left before someone stopped the display
No
No one could prepare for me in my boxers
But now it's just too late, I’ve gone away

Now I just go cry myself to sleep
Thinking: "How could this happen to me?
Putting on my pants really is not that hard”
But I forgot to

I slept great through the night
But in the morning nothing did go right
I’ll tell it to my pants tonight,
“I won't leave home without you”

One look at my thighs and kids ran in terror
The sights that they all saw keep them awake
No
It could have been worse, I could have been naked
But this is bad enough for just one day…

Every night, I check before I sleep
If my pants I’ll wear are close to me
Putting pants on in the mornings not that hard
Hard to believe, but…

I slept great through the night
But in the morning nothing did go right
I’ll tell it to my pants tonight,
“I won't leave home without you”

Kids went running in fright,
No one that young should see my legs, so white…
I’ll tell it to my pants tonight,
“I won't leave home without you”

Of all the things I’ve done, this one’s probably the worst
Now when I leave my house, make sure I wear pants first
Should always check before I go, oh no no

I slept great through the night
But in the morning nothing did go right
I’ll tell it to my pants tonight,
“I won't leave home without you”

Kids went running in fright,
No one that young should see my legs, so white…
I’ll tell it to my pants tonight,
“I won't leave home without you”
“I won't leave home without you”
“I won't leave home without you”
“I won't leave home without you”