The ladies at bars
The men in the rest-a-rooms
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world
The ladies at bar
The men in the rest-a-room
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world

(All over the world baby. I've been all over it baby.
I've been places you wouldn't imagine, but let us start at home,okay.)

Hey girl, How you doin'
I'm right back at home and I'm kind of pursuing.
I think I ate something that digested all wrong.
So I'm here to dump it all out so don't look for King Kong.

You see I'm the man of this town.
I hope you're really certain so I can show you around.
But there's this place I'm really not wanting to see.
So if you could go right past there I'll just kind of be pleased.

emmm. I'm really digging those chips.
But they'll get to my stomach and come out my hips.
I'll start on that toilet just having a seizure.
And I'm really kind of sure that's not gonna please her.

But I wouldn't mind if you wanted to share it.
I'd be delighted even if you wanted me to wear it.
Still I have many stories to tell.
Like this one time when I didn't make it all that well.

The ladies at bars
The men in the rest-a-rooms
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world
The ladies at bar
The men in the rest-a-room
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world

Have you ever been in this town
Where they make you use the restroom right onto the ground.
Or how 'bout in a 3-D terrace,
where they try to make you use it in a 2-D ferris.

You've been to Paris, and you've seen their TVs.
But have you ever seen their places where they try to make you pee.
Or the doctors office where they give you these cups.
And you have to try to make it, or you'll get fricked up.

Have you ever been to Ireland?
You have to have a pot of gold to buy one-o-them.
You can take a dump right here in Lochness Lake.
Or you could bend it right over and take an old man's cake.

There was once this run-down restaraunt.
Where all there little toilets seemed to do a little chaunt.
And when I got on them I heard a little krink.
So I decided to drop it right into the sink.

The ladies at bars
The men in the rest-a-rooms
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world
The ladies at bar
The men in the rest-a-room
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world

I got it going at that Asian Parade.
So much, it came out of me like a grenade.
So I stopped all my traffic and found a surprise.
There was diarhea zilching out right at my sides.

I really took it deep when I was in Atlanta.
But it all just stopped when I met with a panda.
So I took a big trip to the middle of China
and settled in until I met someone fina',

She took me to Japan to the town of Tokyo.
Where I colided in the seat of a backyard tow.
Then I went to eat, and we came back with chile.
It took its time out then the woman acted frilly.

Canada was a beautiful site,
Till' the runs came in and ruined the night.
The smell was so bad that I just had to share it.
So I opened the door and made my mom wear it.

The ladies at bars
The men in the rest-a-rooms
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world
The ladies at bar
The men in the rest-a-room
They can't find where we are
'Cause we're crappin' all throughout the world.

(Crappin,' Crappin,' Crappin!' Please can we have all the real craps out and let it over with. Not all of these men here could have crapped it all out. There has to be somebody that needs to leave.
If you've seen a man who has a hairy crack and looks like he rubbed it around in knee-deep waters, that's not hair folks. Please put your hands down.)