(There’s too much sun)

It stings
I cuss and whine
I should have used SPF 59
Ignored my mind
Now I’m pink as a swine
Nope, I’m not feeling fine
(Coppertone)

Beaches are entertaining
Pack some swim trunks to go dive in the sea
But one thing to pack I forgot to take
My epidermis is baked

(You’ll hear me squeal)
Hand me some more Aloe
Spread a large load on my burnt elbows
Trying to have fun
But I wish it would snow
Screaming in pain when you
Slapped my toe!!!

Should never had stepped outside, but the sand you eyed
And had to depart
Now my skin’s aching
But what’s more shaking
That a nude beach
In its prime is the
(Place we dart)

My back it smarts
And I’m burnt red
I’m baked like cookie batter
I fried my balls
While I was sprawled
Now I’m burnt red
It’s such a crappy summer!!!

It stinks
I want to die
My butt is even redder than my back or thighs
I try to look refined
But can’t sit on behind
I’d rather stand up
(My legs are tired)

My friends back home all are mocking me
Asking me, “So did you like Hawaii?”
“You’ve got a little bit of sun, I see”
And then they slap it…
(Ouch! That smarts!)

I keep my clothing stuffed in our freezer
And I hobble around just like an old geezer
Because my whole body is baked
And soon it will be flaky
(Like a snake)

Now I try to keep my pride, although skin cells have died
That wasn’t too smart
Throw some steaks on me
They’ll be grilled I think
The intensity
Of my thermal heat
Is blazing so I
(Made them charred)

My roasted arm
If I look red
It's not because I’m madder
I scorched my pole
It’s turned to coal
Cause I’m burnt red
I think I have skin cancer!!!

Just heed my words... they’re true
Next time wear a sombrero
Umbrellas
Provide shade for you alsooooooo…

And bring sunblock a slew
Spread it out from head to toe
You do this
And you won’t be in my same booooooat…

I wasn’t smart
Now I am scarred
And I’m burnt red
My case is very dire
By sun I'm mauled
While I was sprawled
Shocked, I’m not dead
Cause I am a vampire…