Song Parodies -> "Crumbs (The crummiest diet ever)"

Original Song Title:

"Numb"

Original Performer:

"Crumbs (The crummiest diet ever)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

"Crumbs have no calories" (my mom) It makes almost as much sense as atkins as a diet plan

I've tried lots of diets that made me want to die
Weeks doing Atkins just caused me to fatten
I so crave a cheeseburger and fries
My mortar and pestle will make them safe for me
(Got to have oreos I got to have oreos)
Now these sweets are my pal since they do not have calories
( Lots of raw cookie dough I love that raw cookie dough)

I eat tons of crumbs, each one has no fat
So I can go wild while my gut gets flat
I am a genius, I am just so shrewd
I'll be so healthy and eat lots of food

Why'd you say that my math is fuzzy?
Millions times zero is plainly none at all
I'll write a book and make lots of money
But how can I stretch ten words to that size?
(That's not too hard you know, it's not really hard you know)
I can make the book thick using fake statistics and lies
(That's not too hard you know, it's not really hard you know)
And I'll use some of the bucks to become liposucked

I eat tons of crumbs I don't really care
That they think I'm weird for crushing a pear
It is such a mess, but I do not mind
Since I will decrease my giant behind

And I hope
It's a messed up scale since
I sure hope
I don't weigh 215 when I just was two hundred and two

I've become so plump this plan clearly failed
Since the fault is mine it is not the scale
I am no genius I am just a fool
I am too obese to go in a pool

I've become so plump this plan clearly failed
I really need to start exercising
I've become so plump this plan clearly failed
I really need to start exercising

as far as i know no one has ever gone on the crumb diet

Previous Parody Added to the Site | Next Parody Added to the Site

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melhi - April 17, 2004 - Report this comment

It doesn't matter if the diet plan is successful, so long as the book sales are! Particularly love the idea you used for this, Ethan.

To a Lesser Extent - April 19, 2004 - Report this comment

Probably the best parody of "Numb" yet! Straight 5's!

Adagio - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment

Hehe...love the idea, though the diet failed. Good entry for ABC comp.

Johnny D - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment

(ABC) Lots of great lines --- you have a wonderful way with words, Ethan --- good job.

Spaff.com - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment

Fave line: "Weeks doing Atkins just caused me to fatten."

Meriadoc - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment

My fave line: "to become liposucked" - hee hee. :-)

Peregrin - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment

Yep - the bucks line was a good 'un!

neminem - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment

Very nice. Let her know: adding an infinite number of infinitessimal pieces gives a finite sum (that being the theory behind all of calculus ;-)). Anyway, this song was very well written. You get 5s.

Claude Prez - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment

Wicked stuff, rippin' on your mom and all; I like it.

Nevermind - May 15, 2004 - Report this comment

The pacing pn this song sucks and some of the lines make no sense at all. This was pretty good though sonsidering its probably one of you only parodies.

Paul Robinson - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment

(ABC) Ethan - DKTOS, can't access Messageboard to see if you posted a link, I'm getting an error there this morning when I try. I know I'm late here on the "ABC" contest - my apologies, been a bit under the weather this past week and haven't done much of anything except sleep, wake up, moan, pull in the morning paper, check my mail & e-mail, eat a bit and go back to sleep. Feeling better this morning. I'm trying to at least comment and vote on all the ones where I know the originals.

neminem - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment

Yeah, everyone is getting that error. Anyway, I have it down to three, and I'm leaning towards this one. Also, you should probably have Chucky check whether those 10 ones are all the work of that Nevermind person.

ethan - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment

i was pretty shocked to find the 10 ones too... and i think i probably know the pacing of this song better than most people considering how much i had to listen to it to write it. Anyway, i can't get the messageboard either i guess maybe that's why there were so many votes missing when i counted the votes friday evening. I already announced that claude won the round i'm probably going to let that stand and push the voting back a bit for the next round depending on when the messageboard comes online.

EmiLoca - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment

I really liked this! Extremely clever. 4-5-5, I only noticed one or two pacing mistakes.

Xander999 - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment

Forget the rest of the parody - the real star of this parody is the chorus. The best chorus parody ever, I can hear Chester sing this now....

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.