Oh I saved a few lab rats
And now they’re all running amok
They look like demonic Chihuahuas
I cant catch them with any luck
Well The precise reason that I
Had Hesitated to keep them
Was the horrible epidemic
That would be devastating for us
Called my agent
Bought a house far away
And the police would not evict me
It’s a trek just to get up in one day
The U.S. president
The top dog authority
Was Infuriated
On the doorstep of my driveway
No the judge, was not a bit impartial
That really wasn’t fair
Sure was not like a court Marshall
Estimated Damage
From those rats that had the plague
Was not what I had thought
It was worse
The judge acknowledged that I
Had the responsibility
To pay the humongous fine
Oh why did I do that
My plans never work out
Oh they never work out
So at the end of my trial
I start yelling at the judge
I called him a blubber nugget
And it was true, oh sure he was
Then the guard standing in the doorway
Started walking over to me
So I went even more ballistic
Bad idea probably
There was a fight
It didn’t turn out well
I got tazered in the kiwis
And then i saw stars and bells
I abated really fast
After that quick blow to
But I recovered quickly
Before I got sent to juvi
The guard was
The industrious type
The hardworking statue
Who would never get bribed
I wished that it were a sham
This jail was fake and not real
Fake and not real
Ice cream bones, with bloody nut shavings
This thought of anything
Was rally scary to me
It was irrelevant
But also stuck in my head
Also stuck in my head
If anything
Could go even more wrong
My life would really suck and
It would not be enjoyable
Life imprisonment in
A 6 by 6 foot jail cell
Its horrible in prison
I pleaded no lethal injection
Ohh, busted out, by top of the line thieves
With black camo pants and hats
And extremely long sleeves
They took me out
And I waved bye to them
None of my cell mate friends
Ohh I got caught
Just A few weeks after that
And I had the same judge
My life sure feels like (SHHHHHHHHH!!!!)
Oh why o why god me
Its really isn’t fair
It really isn’t fair