I want to be Sheen's social intern.
I want to run his Facebook page.
I want to make the media's ears burn
When I capture all his rage.
I want to write his Twitter tweeting
And his mad disjointed talks.
For if this task I am completing
He'll give me "seven-gram rocks".

Oh I can not wait 'til I begin
For I adore his life of "sin".
With Charlie, it is always win,
You Loser!
And do not think I've been misled.
I do not have the slightest dread
That my boss is a big crackhead
And boozer!

I want to help my boss sueing C.B.S.
Although an intern seldom gets paid.
But it is still a good deal I guess:
Sheen will see that I get laid.
'Though you may sneer at me, and giggle "tee, hee, hee",
You may even laugh out loud.
Still it's my chance to be in that fraternity -
That bad Hollywood wild crowd!

You may say I don't have any shame,
But I know how to play the game.
I'll have my tiny bit of fame,
I know, man.
For you will look like a buch of fools
When I am flaunting all the rules.
You'll see me out shoplifting jewels
With Lohan!


(Instrumental verse)


There's no other job that's half as keen
As online voice of Charlie Sheen.
I'll post his tiger-blood obscene
Confetti.
It will be my entry in show biz.
He needs me. I'm a Twitter whiz,
And I will even sharpen his
Machete!


WIN-NING!!!