(I know that we are young, and I know that you may love me, but my honesty chip won’t let me hide the truth: I’m an android.)

I’ve got wires ‘stead of brain cells
So I cannot feel pain,
Or go insane.
You can shun me now that you know,
Just don’t be so cruel as to leave me
In the rain.

Data from Star Trek’s my friend,
Robo-buddies till the end.
We dream of electric sheep,
But never sleep.

I’ve got a gut
Filled with circuits,
I’m an android.
My metal butt
Can crack walnuts
Sans steroids.
At calculations, I’m the best,
But I can’t pass a Turing Test.
Landed here just
After Earth’s glut
Of asteroids.

I’m an android, I’m an android.
Laser-deathray android, evil robot android.
I’m an android, I’m an android.
Solar-powered android, hacked-your-wifi android.

(Stop. Error. Does not compute. Divide by zero. Does not compute.)

I’m from Pluto, and I will not go
Until you open your eyes,
And recognize
We’re a planet, si, comprende?
I’ve got machine guns for legs,
I don’t compromise.

Not the droid you’re looking for,
R2-D2’s such a bore.
He’s a bleeping can on wheels,
I wear high heels!

I found my forte
In tech support,
I’m an android.
In HP Corp’s
Kangaroo court
I’m employed.
Advantages, I have a lot,
Just ask the doctor what I’ve got:
USB ports
Instead of warts
And hemorrhoids.

I’m an android, I’m an android.
Terminator android, Skynet’s latest android.
I’m an android, I’m an android.
Seventeenth-gen android, still no Flash on android.

Detect no bugs,
Don’t pull the plug,
I’m an android.
No good at hugs
On static rugs;
Try to avoid.
Oil, I chug
From coffee mugs
Made of alloys.
When I get wet, I tend to zap
Humanoids.

I never run,
Jetpacks are fun,
I’m an android.
My kind makes fun
Of Gatling guns
When annoyed.
My eyeball screens are all aglow,
Superior to man, although,
I’ve been outdone,
Brought down by one
Sigmund Freud.

I’m an android, I’m an android.
Wind-up dancing android, Rock ‘em Sock ‘em android.
I’m an android, I’m an android.
Domo, Mr. Android, arigato, android.

It really pays (I’m an android)
To make a wage (I’m an android)
As an android.
High-def display, (Built-in speakers android)
Instant replay, (Autotunin’ android)
And Pink Floyd.
I feel no love, happy or sad, (I’m an android)
Guess being rust-free makes me glad. (I’m an android)
This is the way (Windows Seven android)
To spend your days (My idea android)
Without joy.

I’m an android.