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Song Parodies -> "Bag Boy"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Kid Rock

Parody Song Title:

"Bag Boy"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Some people really love their job...even if that job is just a bag boy at the local grocery store. Original Song
Bag boy
Bag boy

Oh well, this tag it has my name…and it’s pinned to my chest
While I’m only twenty-six, I know that I’m best
Yes this job pays the bills, that’s not it…
High school, I dropped out…I’ve found my purpose!
I’m at the Food Mart, it is just down the block
Where I am like a jock with my apron smock
Put your stuff in a bag, sayin’ “Hi, Mrs. Jones”
Then thank her, wish her a safe drive home
I wake up with the sun, wrangle the carts
Find register six, then work I will start
Help some wily grandma to find the soap
There’s no doubt, man this store is like my home
The new guys get nervous, I’ll teach them my secrets
“When people shop, they must know you mean business”
No joke, no I won’t disappoint
‘Cause I’m the very best, one can beat me, I’m a…

Bag boy, baby
With the price tags strapped, and my big smile shinin’
Bag boy, baby
Keep things moving when there’s long lines
(The people love me!) Bag boy, baby
Coupons, all right! Saved ten cents today!
Bag boy, baby
I won’t crush your eggs, they will be okay

I bet your mind, I will be blowing when you walk right in
You’ll say (impressed whistle) “Man, what should I get?”
Fresh shrimp, jack cheese, bananas and limes
Get what you want…I’ll serve you, no time
Cashier is Steve, my name is Mike
We’re the best team by far, come right through our line
You got stuff one mile high? And we’ll still make it quick, boy
“And you have a real-nice-day” That’s how I roll, I’m the

Bag boy, baby
With a plastic bag, or the paper kind – I’m
Bag boy, baby
Carts, I’ll fill ‘em in record time
(Known ‘round the world as) bag boy, baby
No long lines ‘cause of my quick pace
Bag boy, baby
Frito’s aren’t in six, they’re in aisle eight!’ve got seven loaves of bread
Bag them all up sep’rate so they wouldn’t get wrecked
New guy Jimmy starts to sweat when he sees glass
I said, “Wrap them tight in a paper bag!”
No kidding, I’m doing ev’ry job in this store
Keep shelves stocked, trash gets tossed, even waxing the floors
Customers acting careless- messed things up, ain’t right!
I’ll restock things again, I’ll stay here all night! UGH!
There’s lettuce, mixed with all the cold cuts
But it keeps me busy, no I do not hate this
It’s my pleasure, bag boy player
I would never leave, but boss says I have’ta

Ladies always hit on me...mothers ask “Boy, why aren’t you married?”
I say calmly, “I might do that sometime later...
but right now I am working, it don’t get much better!”
Worshiped, a savior...statues were built
A tattoo on my bicep that says “Paper or Plastic?”
I’m the very best, no one else comes close, man...
I’ll keep on working for that minimum wage, I’m-

Bag boy
With my clean black cap, and my apron flowing
Bag boy
Here all the time, they’re gonna build a shrine
Bag boy
Never long lines ‘cause of my quick pace
Bag boy
“Donuts are in six, next to the snack cakes!”
Bag boy
Bread never gets smashed, folks always applaudin’
Bag boy
I’ll carry your bags to where you are parked at
Bag boy

“I’ll see you next time :)”

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   2
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - April 22, 2015 - Report this comment
I love the cockiness of this high school drop out bag boy. At least he likes what he does. This is pretty funny!
Assistant Troll - April 22, 2015 - Report this comment
You are the backbone of the economy and the salt (Aisle 6) of the Earth.
Cashier's Little Helper - April 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Came off as kinda rude and insulting to people who work hard for a living. I once worked for a major supermarket back in the day when minimum wage was 3.35/hr! I started off at 5.00/hr and got paid weekly. We were also union. It was a pleasure to serve the public and put in eight hours. Bag boy or not, an "assistant" also has to know the store inventory of products, locations, the Mgmt staff and cashiers, all payment options, as well as all store policies. It is insulting to put down hard working people who pay union dues and taxes. BTW, the cashier-assistant team moves tons of merchandise a day. In my day, my store chain would not hire a 26 year old drop-out. You had to have a high school diploma and some prior entry level work experience. Most importantly, you had to follow strict orders and hustle. The kids today don't hustle. They have no concept of true work ethic, no sense of urgency, and take no pride in a job well done. Most are sadly " on the clock."
Part-Time Deputy Assistant Troll - April 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Hey, Cashier's Little Helper. Surprised to learn that you, of all people, were a union member working at a low-paying job. Now, 30+ years later, you must be a mensch among mittleren Alters!
Max Power - May 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Good for the kid I'd say.
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2015 - Report this comment
What a fun, fun parody! Cashier's Little Helper has no clue, this wasn't mean-spirited, this was funny and really showed the singer is happy where he's at. Pacing 100% spot on, and you made a lot of mileage out of the repetitive choruses. 555.
bobpiecheese - May 05, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Fantastic parody here! Nailed the pacing, and it's actually kinda sweet that you wrote a parody praising a line of work that often gets the rough end of the stick from pretty much everyone and still kept it funny. $555 in tips!
Blaydeman - May 07, 2015 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Yeah, there's not an ounce of insult in this at all. It's nice to have a character in a low level occupation not complain about it. We read and here those "I hate my crappy job" jokes all the time. It's refreshing to have someone say, "hey, I love that job, and here's why!" I thought this was a lot of fun, and very well executed. Nothing's offensive about it, speaking as someone who has a minimum wage job.
Max Power - April 23, 2016 - Report this comment
It gets better thanks to that min wage hike.
bobpiecheese - April 28, 2016 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!

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