Nappy stinks
Must wipe your rear end
Dab your drool up
So you bawl again
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Since you were born.

Oh, when I dated
Was wined and dined
Now each night
I just get the 'whine'!
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Since you were born.

You haven't reached a year of age
And yet you're bitching like a pro!
Why can't you bottle up your rage?

Cuz since you were born
We can't sleep, you scream all night!
Are you Satan's spawn?
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Wake at two...
Dummy spit...
Until dawn!
Since you were born.

How can you shout with
Such little lungs?
How can the smell
From your poop be so strong?
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Since you were born.

You're like a ticking hand grenade
When are you next gonna blow?
Think we need to hire a maid...

Cuz since you were born
We can't eat without food fights!
You're off like a bomb
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Changing you...
Bears more threats...
Than in Vietnam!
Since you were born.

Right-hook your aunts
And throw fits
When they wipe
Your behind
What comes out both ends is endless!
We tend to demands here again and again!

Since you were born
Desperately cleaning like Housewives!
You aren't any fun
"Waaah! Waaah!"
Frankly rude...
Always wet...
A brat to your muuum!
Must you wee on the clothesline?
You spew when you yawn!
"Blergh! Blergh!"
Thanks to you...
We got wed...
Now you own...
Half our bed...
THAT's contraception!

Parents feel worn...
Sex drive forlorn...
First AND last born!