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Song Parodies -> "I Will Not Throw Up"

Original Song Title:

"I Do Not Hook Up"

Original Performer:

Kelly Clarkson

Parody Song Title:

"I Will Not Throw Up"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Original Song:
Contestants, are you on your mark
To show off your talent?
You're looking deep with focused eyes
Is it too much to manage?
The bell goes off, you're getting full
Now don't deny it
But boys will be boys, oh, yes, they will
They try so hard to hide it
These guys work hard when they all compete
Trying to see how much they can eat

Oh, no, I will not throw up, up, I go slow
So bring out more meat, I will succeed
I got sweat on my brow, a plate full of feed
Oh, no, I will not give up, up, I'll achieve
'Cause as losers slow down the harder I'll fight
To win tonight

Bring more hot dogs and water please
Anyone else left?
Three more go down, but they were weak
I look up, filled with dread
He's five foot eight, eats like a cow
Japan he represents
I will fight hard, but I think I might fail
If it goes much longer, won't go well

Oh, no, I will not throw up, up, I go slow
But Kobayashi, he doesn't sleep
Keeps that food on his mind and still doesn't heave
Oh, no, I will not give up, up, I'll achieve
But the harder I try, the harder he'll fight
To win...

But I feel
Bit woozy
I'll hide it
Could be over
When he does his famed wiggle, Oh, no!

Oh, no, I will not throw up, up, I'll go slow
He's at fifty-three, I'm at thirteen
Got his eyes on the prize, I think he'll succeed
Oh, no, I think I'll give up, up, I'm too deep
But the harder I try the harder he'll fight
To win...
But the harder I try the harder he'll fight
To win tonight

I'm sorry, I have to step down
'Cause I think I might pass out

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Silver Power - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
I only know pieces of the original song, but the pacing sounded right, and it was a pretty good parody, with a great title sub. 5s!
Medemia - July 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Very funny. With practice, you'll get to 55 in 5 minutes.
Mark Scotti - July 16, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM - a little woozy, but clear headed enough to enjoy this...
Chris Bodily TM - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny... I was watching "Fifth Grader" on Sunday (I belive it was) and they had the world hot dog eating champ as a contestant. I thought this parody would be about disliking the so-called "music" of American Idol and/or Kelly Clarkson. But instead, I was overly treated to this ode to eating contests. And nice Tobayashi reference -- reminds me of the SNL Robert Smigel cartoon. "Damn!" lol Can you handle 555 more hot dogs or are you stuffed? :D
Peter Andersson - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
For this one I'll barf up the acronym BOL...
Matthias - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I was rooting for you the whole time Abbott! This one was tons of fun I loved the Japanese guy reference, how can those tiny guys eat so much food anyways?! I also cracked up at the line: "He's at fifty-three, I'm at thirteen"
bobpiecheese - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ah, this was about an eating contest! Wasn't really clear from the parody itself. Interesting parody, but a few killer lines and maybe a prelude saying what the hell was going on could've helped. Didn't get the Japanese guy reference either, but that's my fault, not yours.
Arwen - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM...this totally cracked me up...excellent work!
Below Average Dave - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I had a little trouble getting into this one, maybe it's too many lines that were identical to the OS in the beginning, that kinda made me get a tad lost, it had some individual fun moments though--and you hit most of the rhymes, which is tricky in this OS
Mean Aunt Cindy - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM...I really hate the original song so this had to be an improvement. I was surprised there was no mention of alcohol.
Phil Alexander - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, that's an OS I would have been just as happy not to have listened to - don't mean to be hyper-critical, but you could have made this much, well, sicker in a Survivor bush-tucker challenge sort of way - started OK, but needed more kick.
EmiLoca - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice title sub - and I totally don't mind the OS. :-D
Matthias - September 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Not sure why everybody hates this OS it's not that bad actually I kind of enjoy it but I like bad pop music most of the time (except screw you Justin Bieber!) anyways I loved the idea with this, I still haven't seen a good eating competition parody done so this is perfect.
Peter Andersson - September 21, 2013 - Report this comment
This grows on you - and I don't just mean the stomach of the narrator...
Agrimorfee - September 29, 2013 - Report this comment
This was a tricky tune to write against, and I admire the fact you made it compelling without getting gross, plus added the real-life hotdog eating champion as a character.
Max Power - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Well done.
bobpiecheese - September 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Wait, I read this one before? Damn, my memory sucks. Anyway, great parody here, 555!
Blaydeman - October 01, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Somewhat of a gross topic, but you kept it fun and classy. Good work.

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