Can someone please tell me
Who these people are?
Who’s Audrina Partridge?
Why are real housewives stars?

Contestants on “The Bachelor”
Are called celebrities
And Kim Kardashian’s sisters
Got their own show on E!

I really don’t understand just how
Your face is on my TV now
When did you to prove to me
Your relevancy?
Who in…the f*ck…are you?

I can’t resist the urge to shove pencils in my eyes
Every time I see coverage of one of Jon and Kate’s fights
I don’t care about their issues
Or who is screwing who
But what poor rodent had to die for that wack hairdo?

Somebody tell me how we allow
These twits to turn into cash cows
I have a college degree
But the Pratts make more than me
Who in…the f*ck….are you?

Hey you’re not off the hook, yeah you: Susan Boyle
I really don’t care who kissed you, or if you dyed your fro

Oh yeah I did

Cuz all I can say is “f*cking wow”
At all the sh*t that’s popular now
Goddamn reality
Brooke Hogan, get off my TV!
Who in …the f*ck….are you?

That goes for everyone on VH1 now
And that freak Vince who sells ShamWow
You bitches don’t count to me
As real celebrities
Who in…the f*ck…are you?