Were I a girl I would be banned
No circumvention
Cos I'm depraved, but I'm a man
So no discretion
It's not what I'm raised to
My manners are all gone
I'm yucky and brain's slow
Got mind suspension

I burp and hurl and I like it
I stink up the room 'til you're sick
I break the wind and deny it
Don't care if near-bys mind it
I'm never wrong, I'm always right
Don't mean I'll call back tonight
I'm not a girl and I like that
I like that

Now I'm the king of every game
To men that matters
And an environmental shame
I piss on nature
That's not where, the girls go
Now that's for us who shave
My conscience is unused
But that too's OK

I stand and pee and I like it
The sight of my manly dipstick
I'll scratch my butt while I'm at it
For as long as I can find it
I don't get old, I don't loose fights
I won't have lettuce tonight
I'm not a girl, I don't eat that
I don't get fat

Us men we are so rational
Thick skin, hard heads, invincible
And on the list backs shaveable
If a woman supplies it
Then we'll enjoy their malcontent

I smell like sweat and I like it
I don't think talking does the trick
I don't do shores, I don't like that
I'm sure a gal will fix it
I feel so strong, I'm quite a sight
Eat beans and set farts alight
My bod' is covered with hot spots
And blood clots