He says how are you, can you take off your shirt
then your trousers, this won't even hurt.
His hand is cold and it's a real turn-off
but Doctor Wheeler makes me turn and cough.

In his white jacket he's a handsome man
but i get nervous when I see his hand.
In has grasp now, hope we don't get caught
Doctor Wheeler makes me turn and cough

(bridge)
It always starts when I get out of my shoes
and that nurse begins to grin.
She'll leave the room when doc gets ready to go,
and that physical begins.

When it's all over he'll make lots of small talk
'bout how it's cold in here, and the shrinkage I got.
He grabs a rubber glove and then I run off..
Docor Wheeler makes me turn and couhg,
yah Doctor Wheeler makes me turn and cough!