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Song Parodies -> "99 Problems (And A Glitch Is One)"

Original Song Title:

"99 Problems"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jay-Z

Parody Song Title:

"99 Problems (And A Glitch Is One)"

Parody Written by:

Airrider

The Lyrics

I'll say it right now: I love Battlefield. I was excited about getting the full game, so I played the BF3 Multiplayer Beta on my PS3. My GOD, was it full of bugs. Still getting the game, though. Now that the Beta's over, we can all have a good laugh over the glitches and errors that were in the beta build, right? ...right?
If you're havin' beta problems, I feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one

I got the stock M4 and I'm set to roll
Engineerin' up in Operation Metro
Rush in the open beta we could download
"Demo?" Wrong term, stupid, "beta," that shit ain't closed
So there's no wheels to roll in the beta, oh
Well, still celebrating the minute we takin' control
Then I'm, "Wait, that guy just fell through the whole damn floor"
And I try to jump over cover, I can't go
Use the Recon's radio so I can spawn my homes
Then I get my ass killed, see the underworld
The map spawns outta my bro's ass, whoa,
Then half my squad is like, "Is this, like, server lag," of course
I don't know what you take me as,
But understand the beta plays like a load of ass
I can understand that, haters, I ain't dumb
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

99 problems and a glitch is one
If you're havin' beta problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

I play with Assault, my AK and all
Try to hold down bad guys, dodgin' shots from some dude's LAW
I got two choices, y'all, revive my whole squad or
Bounce on the double, just head straight to the door
Now, I ain't tryin' to see no parkour chase in-game.
Plus the M-COM's all busted, our defense is a shame
So I...run over to vault a fence made of stone
Can't move, like I'm not on the list, stopped at the door
This wall can't be that tall, hip-height, it's real low
Do I look like I can't climb this thing? I don't know
So I hop a few times, I must look like a dope
And that ain't doin' very much before I get floored
So then now I'm starin' down the respawn countdown screen
Now I'm carryin' an RPK and something ain't what it should seem
I still see the filter fit on my gameplay a bit
Well, no, I'm lying, it looks like my TV's gone to shit
Well my screen's lookin' like it's locked this way, not unless I'm iced
And I'm not about to suicide, 'cuz that just ain't nice
Maybe I can just play like this, my BC2 skills show or somethin'
I can still see, this filter ain't nothin'
Nah, it's all black and white, and a blue filter (a bit)
Enough that I can't legitimately see no shit
I see how smart I am when I eat a gun
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is one
If you're havin' beta problems
i feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is one
If you havin' beta problems
i feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

Now, once upon a time, 'fore the beta closed
A gamer like myself had an M-COM to blow
I was in control in the sense of seeing an opening
And the thing would blow like July 4th that's what I was hoping
I tried to advance, but I'm in for a shock
One Assault, pumped a mag in him, he won't drop
My game is tight, I'm aimin' down my sights
Then he just drops my ass, put up no fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is the game gets to crappin'
Then his whole squad leaves, they zappin' off the map and
My boys go prone but something goes wrong again
My homie the Assault's stretched all long again
Won't sleep tonight, damn Slenderman
PS3 is just got the whole damn shaft again
E.A. tried to give the beta out but then
They gon' fix these bugs cause, hell, I can't
This won't change my mind, not about this game
Gonna play BF3, I'll buy it, man,
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how this beta's dumb
I got 99 problems, glitches are every one.
Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is one
If you're havin' beta problems
i feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is one
If you're havin' beta problems
i feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

99 Problems and a glitch is one
If you're havin' beta problems
i feel bad for you son
It's got 99 problems and a glitch is one
Hit me

You makin' a squad in here?
I'm your boy

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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