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Song Parodies -> "I'm Bored (of all this royal wedding sh.. er.. stuff)"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Yours"

Original Performer:

Jason Mraz

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Bored (of all this royal wedding sh.. er.. stuff)"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

In case anyone hadn't noticed, given the overwhelming torrent of news articles (which might possibly have stayed within the shores of this island, but somehow I doubt it).. the second-in-line to the throne has just got engaged. Googling "william kate engagement" currently shows up over 8 million hits, so I'm thinking it's probably not that parochial a news story.

I know "I'm Bored" has been done as a title sub more than once already, but the first verse pretty much jumped out as I was driving in the car, so I figured I'd finish it, anyway.
Well, I've seen on the telly that Kate'll marry William
It's only been a week, but already there's a million
Stories in the press
All trying to guess
What, how, when, why, and where they'll hold the wedding
With all o' this intrusion you can tell just where it's heading
They're trying what they tried
Like they did when Di died

Good luck Wills and Kate. Won't say no more
Except to state: I'm bored

Well open up your paper, you will see
On the radio and on TV
Lookin' like a tart and you'll hear "Blah, blah, blah, blah"
Listen to the prattle of the pundit people pouring pee
On the royal family
All this God-forsaken shite had enough duff guff stuff

No I don't give a shit no more, no more
No, not one bit, I'm sure
And though she may be quite fit
When skirts are short
It's time to quit, I'm bored

In the Telegraph, the Mail and the Sun and the Mirror
Telephoto pictures trying to get a little nearer
What they all said won't be done
They're all lying little scum..bags
I guess that what I'm saying 'bout the snapping paparazzis
Is it Godwin's law to say they're worse than were the Nazis?
All the tabloid press
'Cause she'll be a princess?

He'll be head of state? don't care at all
This shit I hate, I'm sure
They can all go procreate - (Well, open up my paper, hope there'll be)
I don't care naught - (Pictures taken by paparazzi)
For Wills and - (Isn't romance great 'cause they're in)
Kate, I'm bored. - (love, love, love, love)

Look, he ain't so great - (Looking on the internet, I know there'll be)
and nor is she.. - (Pix o' her in her bikini)
Yeah, she's just "Kate".. - (It's this gossip-raking shite that I)
So what? - (love, love, love, love)

I don't need to know her weight - (Get yourself to google for some pictures and you know there'll be)
Or that he's short - (an infinite supply and all are free)
Go fornicate - (photoshops of them as they make)
I'm bored - (love, love, love, love)

[repeat last eight lines to fade]

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Rod W - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil, that was brilliant, with dead-on pacing. Liked "Go fornicate.. I'm bored". Yes the Royal F***ing Wedding, the latest diversion..
Arwen - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Lots of smiles here, Phil...up to your usual standard. Loved this!
Jimi Rotten - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
I like this. We've had corrupt heads of state in both sides of the Atlantic and they've done tremendous harm to millions of people. The economy really sucks big time and now we're supposed to be keeping our eyes on the TV to see who makes the garter that Kate will wear. Your parody is very good, right onthe money. May I suggest another idea as well? It starts off something like this: God save the queen The fascist regime They made you a moron A mental H-bomb ... That Sex Pistols classic applies just as much in America. It's like Rod W said - the latest diversion. 555s across the board.
Phil Alexander - November 30, 2010 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks

Rod - I've been playing this through with the OS on in the background (even have a couple of volunteers for the second part vocals at the end).. so it should be fairly tight by now. Looking forward to performing it

Arwen - thanks.

Jimi - any relation? Thing is, I've nothing against it being a distraction for those who want to be distracted by it.. I just get really narked when half of every news program, and a ridiculously high percentage of the newspaper I get is full of totally nonsensical information that nobody needs to know. If you have no interest, it's almost impossible to escape the coverage. Not sure if writing & performing a parody actually helps, though.
Jimi Rotten - November 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Hi Phil. I havenothing about the royal marriage thing being covered either. I just hate it when the media concentrates on one main issue and they SHOUT at you and hammer it to death. For those who really like to be up on these things, enjoy. At the same time people need shelter, food, good jobs, justice, etc. and that's the stuff we need to know more about so we can change it. FYI, as for relation "Jimi" is an alteration of my first name James and "Rotten" isn't my true name nor that of Johnnie Lydon of the Sex Pistols. Once again, great parody : )

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