His life was brilliant
His life was brilliant, his hair was red
His face is freckled, he's with Jughead
About Betty and Veronica, they were still impressin' him
He's practicing football in the Riverdale High gym

He's Archibald, he's Archibald, he's Archibald Andrews
He just wants a date that no girl could hate
He was never black and bruised, and he's sometimes cutting loose

Well, he stood a chance about the romance
He always had a situation to enhance
Yes, he'd really knew Reggie, his one worst friend
Who's practically doing jokes nonstop now and then

He's Archibald, he's Archibald, he's Archibald Andrews
This teenage boy wasn't playing much coy
He never had a friend named Bruce, though he's turning up some juice

Ya-ya-ya-ya, ya-ya-ya-ya, ya-ya-ya-ya Archie
He's Archibald, he's Archibald, he's Archibald Andrews
He sometimes hangs out at the chocolate shoppe
He still lives with his dad till he's 32
He can win and cannot lose, never worried 'bout bad news