Was watchin' late-nite tv
When I heard a loudly *thump*
I got up to check it out
And glimpsed there in the dump
I saw a reindeer lookin' back at me
It kinda freaked me out
I thought they were fairytales
But he was real no doubt
So I moved a little closer
And took 'em in the light
He had a really big red nose
That gave me such a fright
Then I started thinkin'
'Boy, it's gettin' cold'
Maybe he might be Rudolf
whose gotten pretty old
Oh

[Chorus]
My God,
I took another glance
[oh]My god
I lost my common sense
[And] Where the [hell] is Santa?
Did he beat him with that rod?
[Oh] My god, my god
[I lost my common sense,I lost my common sense]{<<1st part only}

Somehow, I was back at home
With Rudolf lyin' near
He told me 'bout his retirement
And that Santa *dropped* him here
I went to sleep on the ground
And Rudolf in my bed
And early the next mornin'
I found Rudolf lyin' dead???!!?
[Chorus]

Nooo..
I didn't know just what to do
Nooo..
Maybe dump 'em in a can
Nooo..
And if the po-lice ever called
Then I would be sayin'
That it was all Santa's fault

I won't go to heaven for the things I've done
It would've neva happend if the heater wasn't on.....
My God
I gotta change my name
My God
I'll sue Santa 'n give him the blame
Some would give a little
I would take alot
Oh My God...
My god......
[Chorus]