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Song Parodies -> "Red Haired Woman"

Original Song Title:

"Redneck Woman"

Original Performer:

Gretchen Wilson

Parody Song Title:

"Red Haired Woman"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Original song here. Disclaimer: If you are one of the several red haired women I know, you are awesome, and this parody is not about you. Spare me your wrath, ye flamenheads!
Well I’ve been pressured
Oh, why use wigs to beat the pain?
I'd rather just prove them right
I’m a ranga
And I’m a fire crotch
And I’m a whore-fiend-snide-pale-mate
I’ll admit that I’m enthralled with freckled, ginger hate

So, people joke about me?
Well I hope they’re equipped
My bad hair bitchin’ makes me go Balrog
So avoid my on-fire whip!

Cause I'm a red – haired – woman
I ain't no light – brass – blonde
I'm just as scarlet and abrasive
As a scraped up rash wreaked raw
And I paint my skin with white-out while my blowtorch hair flames on
And I will not be “foiled” by any bitch at some salon!
So here's to all my gingers out there, shrieking and rud-dy
Tell me God, where did you get all these red haired girls like me?
(Hell? Yeah.)

eHarmony meetings
(Yeah, that’s one neat site)
Oh, those guys surprise so easily
Cause my pic’s in black and white
They think I’m vexing
Yes, they exit
Guess my hair’s like HIV
No sum of “great personality” could make a man want me

Poolside, when I’m splashing
I’ve heard I’m quite eye sore
My SPF’s eighty-some
But trust me, girl, I’m flo-rid

I'm a red – haired – woman
Like that McGuy – clown – Ron
I’m like an mermaid orphan Spice Girl
Who gets (thank god) killed by Bond
And I’ve even driven lice out, cause they run from blood-red locks
And red toe hairs stick out from holes in my new fox-fur Crocs
So cheers to guys who stiff us, fearing ginger progeny
Let’s all drink to big red hair bein’a rare com-mo-di-ty!
Hell Yeah!

[Carrot Top performs stand-up during already painful musical interlude]

I'm a red – haired – woman
So I ignite – most – brawls
And I’m the object that gets hazed
Cause I’m freakin’ bright vermilion, freckles fifteen thousand strong
And I've as many burns as there are crabs in Lohan's thong
So when I fin’lly blister out and greet the Lord J.C.
Send me to a gig, in death, full of redhead girrrrrrrrls like me!
(Hell, Yeah?)
(Well, Yeah!)
(Hell Yeah!)

Red Head Hell, yeah!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   10

User Comments

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Matthias - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
"And I've as many burns as there are crabs in Lohan's thong"... Awesome title sub as well, this one was another Emiloca classic but I get turned on by redhead chick (Gingers kinda freak me out, but normal redheads are HOT)
DJ Blaze - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Red-haired women can be hot (especially Japanese redheads), and this is a great testament to them! 555 easily, just like I've came to expect from you.
Guy - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I red this with much interest. It's written way too well to be beaten like a red headed stepchild. TMGLTM and what Matt said about the Lohan line - that line made me LOL. This would do Daddy Warbucks proud. Emi - you did a rip bang up job on this one. Wonderfully paced and syllable matched with some neat internal rhyming - a pure pleasure to read. I'm going to hae to give this OS a shot sometime. Thanks for entertaining me for a bit tonight with this parody. Most enjoyable. HELL YEAH!
TJC - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
This was fantastic... everything Matthias n' Guy said... loved the creative imagery and explosive finale... In sum? Redaculously good! Keep, em coming!
NorCALvotress - September 01, 2009 - Report this comment
My best friend in highSchool was red-haired,; we're still best buds ! We (3) were known as the Blonde~DaRedHead ~ the Brunette(may she rest in Peace). In NorCAL Freckles & red Hair are sooooo Rare !

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