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Song Parodies -> "Gritty Pity"

Original Song Title:

"Nitty Gritty"

Original Performer:

Gladys Knight & The Pips

Parody Song Title:

"Gritty Pity"

Parody Written by:

Arch Vile

The Lyrics

A lesser known story I've come across has been an interaction with an NHL mascot with some kids. Real or fake, I think it should be exaggerated through song. The ad libs in this song almost killed me.
No, mmm, no
Have you heard about what’s goin on in Philly, tonight?
Flyers got that mascot, polite, ha
But if you see him near children, it’s not pretty
‘Cause when that orange giant gets too close see the real gritty pity

Kids will need back doctors that’s the gritty pity
Now pat, (pat) pat (crack, crack, crack) gritty pity
Can’t walk (walk) oww (crack, crack, crack), gritty pity stop
Ooooowee, (ooooowee) get too close the real gritty pity (get too close)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Ooooowee, do I have a disc breaking, my body shaking

Get too close see the real gritty pity
Patting the back, my disc breaking
See that smile, hairy orange giant’s smile the real gritty pity (see that smile)
See that smile, don’t ever hurt me now
Stay (stay), stay back (stay back), stay back from hairy giant that’s real gritty pity, now

It’s not right, (it’s not right) woooooah no it’s not right (it’s not right) woo woo woo woo woo
Get too close, (get too close) get too close (get too close)
That’s too close to the real gritty pity, yeah (oh no)

My kids can’t walk right
Oooowee, ooowee
My baby

Enjoy wearing a new back brace
One day you will grow up and beat that face, once again
Discs breaking, body shaking
Help me, come on and help me
Hairy orange giant’s smile the really gritty pity (get too close)
Dealin’ with that gritty pity (dealin’ with that gritty pity)
Get too close, (get too close) get too close, noooo
Dealin’ with that gritty pity (dealin’ with that gritty pity)
Get too close (get too close) get too close

(Repeat last two lines, Fade out)
This may not be something I'll sing at karaoke, especially if I have to consider the adlibbed lines. Also, crazy thought: that person in that Gritty Flyers mascot costume was the one that killed Epstein. His name is the whistleblower that Adam Schiff (or any news outlet) will not mention by name.

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