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Song Parodies -> "Black Friday Fools"

Original Song Title:

"Black Friday Rule"

Original Performer:

Flogging Molly

Parody Song Title:

"Black Friday Fools"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I wanted to post this on Friday but I was out Black Friday Shopping.
I cannot believe they are camping outside
The deals are so great they’re losing their minds
If you want a grill then why don’t you buy two?
Since they’re undercharged you’ll knock out a tooth

I watch as blood smears across aisle nine
For a simple sale it’s worse here than Troy
I’m getting aggrieved while I’m pushed in the crowd
I just want a blender! Not to get punched out!


Well, Some nut packed a knife I think they lost their brain
To grab an X-Box tons of people were slain
Blood bath at the mall is the worst I found
Please call in the army! Increased body count!

This shopping is vile but much worse is the lines
Consumers all swarm like bees from a hive
They’re bursting through walls to get discount threads
Think I learned my lesson? But I can’t leave yet!

Cause I get high from the thrill of watching geezers trodden
This store once was peaceful but now it’s like a Zoo
Here for the sales! Sales that are golden!
For plasma TVs we are Black Friday Fools!
With arms full of Wiis we are Black Friday Fools!

In Wal-Mart we squeeze we are Black Friday Fools!
Want cheap Christmas trees we are Black Friday Fools!

(Long and Intense Guitar Solo)

In their boots they shake. The employees are ill
Because of the cheapness the shop is getting filled
Their mouths start to foam and some of them faint
You can’t stop the mob that will come this day!

It might seem insane when these crazies all fill their hands
They’re saving a bunch, Hell, They saved a couple grand
While five might be early, I’m barely awake

Yeah! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!

But! I’ll buy these things that I’ll never need!

Cause I’ve been fighting with girls
For those Twilight posters!
I mean something manly… Like a twelve pack of booze!
I’ll make you hurt! Leave your bones all broken!
We’re all feeling peeved! We’re the Black Friday Fools!

Women fight for pearls and men clubs for golfin'
This store might be lethal it’s all over the news
All for the sales folks stop acting human
While outside we freeze cause we’re Black Friday Fools
And inside we’ll bleed cause we’re Black Friday Fools!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Rod W - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Many funny lines, most too true. And pacing was solid, good parody!
Blaydeman - December 08, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! This parody was as intense a that guitar solo! Great Job!
Abbott Skelding - December 11, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Excellent job showing the chaos of that day...I really loved the Twilight/something manly lines, great work!
Mark Scotti - December 11, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very original topical idea, Matthias! Votes begin at 5:55am...
Jeff Reuben - December 18, 2010 - Report this comment
You're a braver man than I to go Black Friday Shopping! I'll take my chances with the Living Teddy Bear. Lots of great lines and a good, timely idea.
Peter Andersson - December 19, 2010 - Report this comment
I was expecting something Wiccan, but this was just Wicked, in a good way (and considering that songs this fast are very hard to pace so that the reader can follow the parody all the way all the time you did a superb job on that account).
Nala Butt - December 22, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Nicely done. But I have solved the problem of bumping ans shoving...I just let one go!
Michael Juergens - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
The intensity fits the frenzy of the subject. But I noticed a lot of rhyming and pacing problems. And you might have found a way to echo the ‘king’ lyric and thus capitalize on the original songs emotional climax.
Below Average Dave - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
"Since they’re undercharged you’ll knock out a tooth" huh? There seem to be a few rushed lines in here, still its nice to see a Black Friday Parody (and ironically you too went with Aisle Nine, as one of my more successful Christmas Album songs did (On Aisle Nine) . . .anyway, overall this was a decent parody, I won't say I was knocked out the park by it, it was certainly interesting
Matthias - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
How is that line rushed? They're undercharged meaning that they're underpriced and you'll knock out a tooth meaning that you'll beat someone up in order to get your hands on one. I don't know what you mean by saying that this one seemed rushed. I know you don't like Flogging Molly and that probably had a lot to do with your critical response on this.
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Thank God Australia doesn't have to deal with Black Friday (why would we have a sales the day after Thanksgiving when we don't do Thanksgiving?). It sounds dangerous. Well done here, 555!
Below Average Dave - December 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Actually Matty, this particular one by them didn't bother me. . .If it wasn't rushed, then this one had a couple of major oops that you don't normally make. . including that line Since they're undercharged you'll knock out a tooth, from the previous line you've identified you are speaking of a grill, charged means you've already paid--that is past tense. . .you'll correctly identifies the new subject (the person reading/hearing the parody) knock out a tooth--that's future tense. . .it would reads very awkward because you mixed past and future. . .It's like saying I'm about to get paid yesterday. That's a mistake you normally don't make, which is why I assumed it was rushed. "Well, Some nut packed a knife I think they lost their brain" In this one you go from singular to plural in the same sentence. . ."Some Nut" is a person, "they lost their" is more than one person--again not a mistake you normally make. You also have the majority of the parody about being on the 'offensive' but a random line saying you just want a blender and that you are on the defensive that doesn't fit because you've painted your character as being the one who wants to buy all these gifts, these among other examples are why I assumed it was rushed Matty, and I still think that you didn't put the time into editing this that you normally do. . .I didn't post all this in my initial post because I'm really not that nit-picky, but I wanted you to know that my response, which by the way was not critically negative, but critically constructive as it provides both positive and negative attributes about this parody, was not in response to Flogging Molly--there were 4 other parodies that could have made my top 5, I would not have voted this in my top 5 if I didn't feel it belonged there--I'm just honest, and try to leave reasoning behind my vote. Many people will quickly leave a great job or equivalent on a parody, without any detail showing they read it, which is fine I suppose-but it isn't me, and you know that, people see my vote and they know that I put a good deal of thought in it, because I take the time to actually read the parodies, pace it to the original, and then point out both the things I liked about the work, and things--if any--that I feel aren't as strong as the writer is capable of producing. . .I wouldn't bother if I didn't have strong appreciation for your penmanship, you know that.
Below Average Dave - December 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Irony is great: in my acknowledgment of what I was commenting on, I made a grammar mistake that made me cringe re-reading my writing (my comments, which typically are unedited, show exactly why editing is important:) . . .Obviously you'll correctly identifies should be you correctly identify. . .oy

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