Song Parodies -> "Vertically Challenged"

Original Song Title:

"This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"

Original Performer:

"Vertically Challenged"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

One of the Bonus 10 from the Epic 50 completed, and my entry into the Fall Out Boy artistry round.

I’m not a tall feller!
Willie Wonka offered me a place to work
The top of my hair comes to your shin
“Tiny Dancer” that your singing
Elton John had put me in

I’m Not A Shrimp! I’m A Little Person!
I’m Not A Dwarf! I’m A Little Person!
Not A Midget! I’m A Little Person!
I’m a bit smaller than you dopes (But not in bed!)

I’m a TEENSY MAN!
But I have no rings, cause I'm not a Hobbit!
I’m not a Hobbit!

I’m an OLDER MAN!
But I cannot shave or I’ll look like a kid
I’ll look like a kid!
(Damn, Damn!)

I used a saddle and rode your pup
(Yee-Haw! I’m a cowboy!)
And Tinkerbell thinks that I’m a hunk
(Yup, I make her heart flutter)
At theaters I can’t see the screen over the seat
I’m too short at the Theme Parks
I’m stuck with the ki-ki-kiddies!

I’m not an Elf! I’m A Little Person!
I’m not a Smurf! I’m A Little Person!
I’m not Pint Sized! I’m A Little Person!
Too short to drive! I can’t reach the pedals!

At my AUDITIONS!
Always the same role! I'm a damn Munchkin!
A Freakin' Munchkin!
(Yeah, Yeah!)

I’m not from JAPAN!
Cause my eyes aren’t small as every other bit!
I’m so sick of it!

Damn…
Whoa-hoa-hoa-hoa!
Whoo!!!

Verne Troyer who plays Mini-Me in the films
And Dolly Parton whose boobs couldn’t be big enough
Sing! Because we’re short and proud!

I’m not an Imp! I’m A Little Person!
I’m not Yoda! I’m A Little Person!
(Not huge)
I’m not Tom Thumb! I’m A Little Person!
(Please watch your shoes!)
Not Tiny Tim! I’m A Little Person!
(Just look down)
Not a Pygmy! I’m A Little Person!
(Uh-oh)
I’m not a Squirt! I’m A Little Person!

Not NAPOLEON!
But just like him I've got the complex
I've got the complex!
(Waa, Waa!)

I’m no LEPRECHAUN!
Cause I don’t wear green and I am not Irish!
No, I’m not Irish!!!

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Matthias - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

I just noticed now that the line "But just like him I've got the complex" doesn't pace so let me change that to "But I'm just like him, cause I've got the complex"

Matthias - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

Dang! I need to proof-read these things better the line, "Always the same role! I'm a damn Munchkin!" should read, "Always get the same role! As a damn Munchkin!"

littleCupCakes - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

Loved the line: "Miss TinkerBell thinks I'm a hunk!" It's Cabo-Wabo, Sir, Matthias.

Invisible Boy - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

Nice Matthias. Sort of a...50 names (not) to call a midget.
I'm still trying to get my head around this band.

Red Ant - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

My favorite line came early on: "I’m a bit smaller than you dopes (But not in bed!)". I can't say I really took to TOS nor can I figure out why it's an epic 50 except maybe it seems a bastard to pace and all the repetition, which you so handled so well. 5s

AFW - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

Nothing small about this...very funny comparisons..

bobpiecheese - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

Well, you did just a bit better than me on this one by varying the title line (IB has a point here, are you up for a 50 Ways To Diss A Midget?). Anyways this was brilliant, hope you can reach these 5's!

Below Average Dave - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment

I think Matty may have mislabeled. . .we both picked ten bonus songs to cover spots we were hitting blanks. This is one of his bonus songs, so it's not among the actual 40, Proof reading will always work wonders, it appears someone was offended by the idea, but that is typical of anything funny.

Max Power - May 03, 2008 - Report this comment

Good

Agrimorfee - May 05, 2008 - Report this comment

(Artistry) Oh, so FOB does THAT song...shows you how out of touch I am with pop music:). This was pretty good, although I wouldn't have thought of Dolly Parton as a little person...no mention of Billy Barty (UHF, Legend), or Warwick Davis (Willow, The Harry Potter movies)?

bobpiecheese - May 07, 2008 - Report this comment

(Artistry) See above (beat me at my own attempt, why don't you...you little...I kid, I kid)!

Rex - May 08, 2008 - Report this comment

(Artistry) Shouldn't the line "I'm not Yoda" been "Yoda I'm not"? :-) Good work coming up with all the terms for small people.

Invisible Boy - May 08, 2008 - Report this comment

I still like it. The "running gag" does work for me and you did come up with some clever "midget" subs.

Below Average Dave - May 08, 2008 - Report this comment

(Artistry) Well, I thought it was creative as an idea but I have to admit upon reading it your execution was off. It paces technically, but it is kinda off stressed for me. It seems perhaps your execution on this one was a tad rushed buddy.

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