**whispered, with little enthusiasm** Here we go again then…

Climb your hair? Are you taking the piss?
I could fall! Whose idea was this?
Somewhere else, a princess is snoring
Gonna wake her with a kiss

Holy moley, can’t believe my ears
Been asleep for one hundred years?
So you’re quite old? You could be my gran?
That was not part of my plan…

This Prince Charming gig’s not easy
These princesses such a pain
Why are they so damn high maint’nance?
So not worth the groin strain

What a crock, I’ve turned into a frog
So princess, please give me a snog
Yes I’ll fetch your ball, but you owe me one...
Here it is – oh crap! She’s gone.

This Prince Charming gig’s not easy
Screwed over by a princess
Well our wedding just got cancelled
I don’t need that kind of stress

**musical interlude - with lots of banging, crashing and prince-ly swearing**

Oh just me and Snow White now…
Oh – and seven short guys? Aw man…!
Cinderella dear, you’re the one I choose
What do you mean, ‘you need new shoes?’

This Prince Charming gig’s not easy
Getting taken for a fool
Risking life and limb for bimbos
Weren’t told that in Prince’s School

Gonna ditch this Prince gig
Get an office job instead
Meet girls when I am drunk in nightclubs
Take my crown and wealth away…
Must you take my wealth away..?
I might keep this Prince gig…