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Song Parodies -> "Shorty Is A Midget"

Original Song Title:

"Shorty Is A Dancer"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Shorty Is A Midget"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

Very undersized little body
Yeah, her height's rivalling Barbie's
She's tiny, understacked
The smallest fry, with a 'stuntman' knack

Cops flak, abused by termites and small silverfish
You midgets will soon learn what 'little' is
So scant, a min-im-al-ist, this pygmy sits
Two-feet high like the shrimpiest infant is

She's a Lilliputian, it gives the illusion
That she's distant... which is confusin'
Look at this cute miniature human
She's proving that booster-seats can be seducin'

Stand really tall, you damn little dwarf!
Man, you're so small, it's a wonder!
When shorty leaves the house she rides in a pram or
Roars 'round atop a mouse like a damn horse
She's pitiful, horribly misfortunate
Cuz her little pixie body's disproportionate
To not crash, she has crates that are stacked up in
The driver's seat to see past the dash, when she's gas-pumpin'

Body as small as dill pickles
So she bought silly new stilts to help lift her
Out from the insect crowds; it's loud when you're sixteen
Inches above the ground (with 'em!)

Livin' down 'round your stinky sneakers
A hanky for a towel. She talks squeaky, high pitched
Teensy-weensy young squirt who's elfish
This gal is less than half the length that my belt is!
Auditioned for Twelfth Night, got shelved with
Tinkerbell's bit

"She's no Shaq, her puny span isn't B-I-G.
Yeah, to us, we think she's tiny!"
(Yo, she's tiny!)

Stand really tall, you damn little dwarf!
Man, you're so small, it's a wonder!
When shorty walks about, she's bullied by ant hordes
Scorned by all dwarves, she shouts out "You're manwhores!'
She's pretty small, hardly an enormous miss
For her contraception? Aglets on her shopping list!
'A little short', so I thought that she'd want money
If anybody calls her a 'halfwit'... that's not funny!

Mini Me's babe. Hitched as his bride, yup
Fricking gets pissed off if sidewalks rise up
Even with a height (limit when in) line for a ride, she'll
Just trick the guide, wearing nine-inch high-heels

Her wage decreases if she won't sing "Hi Ho'
She aint ever sleep, because ants snore all night long
Snow White makes her scrub, mop and wipe up
Humping dandruff snowmen? She's no tall Goliath..

Gets tripped up in webbing of spiders
You're sounding like earthquakes to her Oompah Loompah gait
Everyday she keeps missing high-fivers
Loves to play pranks cuz her life's knee-deep with such pint-sized fun!

Stand really tall, you damn little dwarf!
Man, you're so small, it's a wonder!
When shorty hears cats pounce, she whips out her handgun
Wants to be Tom Thumb's spouse cuz he's handsome
She's miniscule, obviously a Smurfy girl
Taller when she's horizontal than when vertical
She'll eat the scraps from a cake and shortbread luncheon
But please, nobody mention the fact she is half-Munchkin!

Shorty's the smallest sprout, she's a damn dwarf!
Shorty's the smallest sprout, she's a damn dwarf!
Shorty's the smallest sprout, she's a damn dwarf!
Shorty's the smallest sprout, cuz

"She's petite!
Pixie dust? Yeah, man, she's tiny!"
(She's tiny!)

"Hahahahaha! Ahahahaha!
Ahhh whatchoo talkin' "bout, Willis?"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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AFW - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
This is not short on humor...
Ann Hammond - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't know the actual song, but if you d.... a dwarf or call someone a midgit this 4' 8" American Women will come and get you.
Kristof Robertson - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Bravo on two counts,, for the fun, language bending parody, and two, for introducing me to some hip-hop I actually quite like! 555
Luke Brattoni - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL AFW! Ann Hammond, there's a link to the song at the top. I'll be sure to wear kneepads when I'm in your neck of the woods. And cheers, Kristof. Perhaps you can introduce me to, like, techno or something... - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
No one else on the planet can say the same thing in so many ways. And make it rhyme. And fit someone else's meter. Et cetera. And that's the long and the short of it. Heh heh. Bonus kudos for the Lilliputian/illusion/confusin'/human/seducin' stanza.

P.S. Everyone: I got this in my inbox YESTERDAY. Nyah nyah.
Stuart McArthur - September 14, 2006 - Report this comment
that you can be looking for rhymes for "elfish" and then come up with 4 without resorting to "selfish" is pretty darned impressive my fellow wombat - and the title was hilarious all by itself - 555

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