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Song Parodies -> "He Likes Guys"

Original Song Title:

"He Loves U Not"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"He Likes Guys"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

This song is another tough one to do, but after all was said and done I performed it at open mic, I won that night--people were cracking up so I figured I did well Hear He Likes Guys for Free!.
Give it Your All Girl
Give it All You Got
You can try to get into a Homo's Crotch
Give it your all girl, do what you do
He's Always gonna, prefer sleeping with dudes

Feelin' all on him, Tryin' to change him
Hope to turn him straight
Keep praying, That He'll decide
He is not all gay
Girl you can wear all your Abercrombie
but He'd still prefer Stevie

It's not so easy to accept this Reality
He's so Romantic, Big Blue Eyes, He's so sexy
You should've known how this would go
that you can't get into his pants

You can paint your big ol' lips
Try to smack him in his tuckas
You could even touch his hips
He's still into rough rides

No Secrets to unlock
He'd rather play with big frocks
He's into handsome jocks
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not
No Matter What U Do
He'll Always Sleep With Dudes
He thinks Mark Wahlberg's hot
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

You're the kind of chic that thinks she's Lady Marmalade
Only Want him for your pride
Always hittin' on the gay guys
They spend more money and have great thighs.

You're the kind of Gril whose often called a Silly ho
You think you've got him in the club He's a Homo
Doesn't matter if you think it's fly
You're Never gonna hit it with a gay guy

Not into S&M, He's into Hairy Men
He slepped with Tom & Tim
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

No Matter What U Do
He'll Never Be Into You
He has a crush on Rock
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

Doesn't matter what U do
He's always gonna sleep with dudes
He's at the mall girl, go get a clue
He's meeting Lance there he likes him too
He's not alone girl, Doug's with him too
He's never gonna get down with you

You can hang out with his Click
Try to get in on the action
Although He may be polite
He's not into your kind

Don't think you Comprehend
He'd rather be in bed with Ken
He Likes Boystown A Lot
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

No matter what U do
He won't dream about you
He's checking Josh out too
He Loves Crotch he Loves U Not

No Time to Be All Sad
It's Really Not So bad
He Told You He Likes Chad
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

So I think it's up to You
He Told you the Whole Truth
Take it or Leave it Boo
He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not

Please note I wrote this song before knowing any of you, so if any of the names happen to be the same as yours, it was NOT meant towards you. All of my songs are available at My page Thank you, and hope you enjoy this very difficult parody about a Fag Hag and the Guy she wanted to 'change'

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Yoidy - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
The "he loves crotch" line crax me up!
Tommy Turtle - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Q.: Why is it so hard for a girl to find a guy who's smart, handsome, and sensitive?

A.: Because all of those men already have boyfriends.
DKTOS, but the veriest truth, said in a funny way.
p. s. ya might try using spell-checker -- the Spelling Police are known to hide behind billboards at this website.
Below Average Dave - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Spellcheck is something I always mean to use, but never quite get around to:) I love the Q&A. . .Songs of this nature are always fun to write, because I can be honest and funny at the same time. Yoidy. . .that line was the first line I wrote, I heard the song in a Dillard's and I just couldn't help it, it's the first thing that came to my mind and it slipped out (this is the case with many of my eventual parodies) I said "He Loves Crotch He Loves U Not", my friends and the lady behind the counter started cracking up--that's when I knew I had to do this one. . .as it turned out, the whole song worked out for it.
Tommy Turtle - December 24, 2006 - Report this comment
BA Dave, may I suggest the Firefox 2.0 Web browser? It will automatically spell-check as you write or post anywhere. It will flag misspelled words as you type. You can right-click the flagged word and it will suggest corrections. It's a whole lot better in a lot of ways than the Microwhatever browser you're probably using now, and it's absolutely free. ht*tp:// (take out the *)
Pappa Smurf - September 12, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree, a lot of women likes guys

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