(Dr. Gay)
Ya'll know me still the gay ol' G
But I can't proceed
Cos i'm hated on by most these straights
Wit no cheese, no trees and no wees, no peels and no keys
No boats, no gaymobiles and no skis
Mad at me cause
I can finally admit that i'm gayer than a bag of groceries
Got a crib wit a gym and it's all full of mans
To add to my dating list of fans
Better give me a tissue just in case i sneeze
But ya'll think I'm gonna let my sexuality freeze?
Oh, please
You better bow down on one knee
Who you think taught you gay expertise?
Who you think brought you the Chinese
Gay police. Assorted clothes and strip tease the G-A-Y-Es?
And a group that gave a makeover to the whole police
Gave you a tape full of gay beats
To bump with a cute guy from your hood
And when your sexuality was questionin' you
Who's the queer that they told you to go see
Straights better listen up closely
All you fans that said that I own a shop
Called 'The Gay Flop"
y'all are the reason I've been having a cool dream
So thank y'all Apart from y'all
Who didn't even wanna accept me
You are gonna keep messin up the gays
And turn my clock back to the straight days

[chorus x2 - Denimem]

Nowadays everybody always have somethin offensive to say
And swear words come out when they move their lips
Some gay-bashing gibberish
But it turns out they in fact forgot that i'm gay

[Denimem]
So what do you say to somebody who's gay?
Just say something that won't scare 'em away!
Wanna resolve things in a nastier way?
Just study a tape of "How To Fight Gays".
One day I was walkin by
With a tracksuit on
When I caught a guy givin me flirtatious eyes
I took him on a date to have a milkshake and a strawberry pie
You shouldn't give a damn if they're gay or not
As long as they own a giant yacht
So get 'em drunk on squat
Leave him in the bar take his keys and steal the boat
After it's crashed run away from the cops
This is a gay relationship for ya, bub!
Just make sure the other person pays for the grub!
And when the straights come through
Me and Gay stood next to a bunch of men
With a bucket full of mud and a deserted courtyard
And it still weren't witnessed
From here on out it's the Queer 2
Startin today and tomorrow it's you
And I'm still gay enough
To wear a pink ballerina tu-tu
[Record scratch]
Don't like ladies. Gayer then a queer dog who has rabies
In a Mercedes Benz wit the windows down
And the tv reveals a gay show from the late 80s
Callin men ladies
Sorry Doc but I'm too lazy
Just send a cute doc to come see me
It's ok gays get in free (ye ye)

[chorus x2]

[Dr Gay]
If it was up to me
You homophobics would stop comin up to me
Wit your finger up stickin it up to me
Like you want to make fun for free
When I came out the closet you stopped likin me
But now that I got this little company
All these ppl wanna come to me like it was a gay disease
But you won't get a penny from me
Cause I'm from the streets of Glasgow
I told em all
All them little cancers
Who you think helped sue 'em all
Now you wanna run around and talk about gays
Like you are cool wid them
What you think I'm stupid dumb?
Cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day sayin gays fall off
What?! cause I been in the gym watchin' cute guys swim
Tryna get this straight label off
I ain't havin that
This is the millenium of after that
There ain't gonna be much after that
So give me one more mouse trap and screw rap
You can have it back
So where's all the gay rappers at
Am I the only queer in this habitat?
But all you straight cats
Make fun of me for bein a queer rat
When you were cuddled wit your stupid straight cabbage ass!