My anxiety's rising high
I feel so nervous
but I've got lots of talent
and I can really act
but I'll give you the finger
if you want a picture
Just please please please don't bother me
Because I'm making a movie made by Ron Howard
Howard Howard Howard Howard

Didn't know I'd win the Oscar
and star in a big hit
Gladiator was a good flick,
and I romanced Meg Ryan
but when Hilary Swank said my name
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown
and then you called me
and that's really bad, it's really mean
Mean Mean Mean Mean Mean Mean Mean

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'Cause I, I,
don't want to thank you
for threatening to kidnap me for eternity
And I, I, will not meet you,
Because I'm really scared, I'm really scared
Scared Scared Scared Scared Scared

I'm an excellent actor
I do it very well
just rent Gladiator if you didn't see it
but I don't really care
And here I am in Princeton
filming a really good movie
and then you call me
but that's not so bad
Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad

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Oooooooh, oooh-ooh-ooh

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