I work late , you don't need to wait up
My head aches and I'm cleaning the puke up
Sometimes, I don't even know why I'm here

I sit down, watching the match ups
I'm sick now, and I don't make that up
Sometimes, I pull out a huge ball of hair

I can't remember the last time you told me "I'm pitiful"
And I can't remember the last time you said anything at all

I'm a drunk man
A drunk man with loud farts
And I can drink them all
I'm not some blonde who just wants Gin and Ton

I'm a drunk man
And I need something tough
And with a killer touch
Cause 12 jugs of Heineken
Is not enough
It's not enough

Now I hope that I won't wake up
When it's [cocktail's] too late to shake up
I'll be too sober by then, and that's sad

In time, I'll find somebody
The truth is: He can't out-drink me
That's when I need a shot of absinthe

When all i really needed to hear was "You're beautiful"
All i really needed to hear was anything at all

I'm a drunk man
A drunk man with loud farts
Oh, and I can drink them all
I'm not some blonde who just wants Gin and Ton

I'm a drunk man
And I need more than Duff
And with a killer touch
Cause 12 jugs of Heineken
Is not enough

I'm not a man who only drink just sometimes
And if I'm your booze hag
You've gotta treat me like...

I'm a drunk man
A drunk man with loud farts
Oh, and I can drink them all
I'm not some blonde who just wants Gin and Ton

I'm a drunk man
And I need more than Duff
Oh, and I need something tough
Cause 12 shots of that absinthe
Is not enough

(That drunk man drinks a tub) I said I make loud farts
(That drunk man drinks them all) I said I need more Duff
(That drunk man will drink everything) I... Whoa

I'm a drunk man

(That drunk man need strong rum) I said I need 12 jugs
(That drunk man need absinthe) I said I need more junk
Just give me all the strongest drinks

I'm a drunk man
I'm a drunk man
I'm in heaven