Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto Bismol.
Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto,
I'll use some Pepto,
Bismol.
Ooh oh

Once eaten and swallowed
I kept my distance because it gave me gas,
Damn you, turkey
Why are you so tasty?
It must be the sauce
That makes me so hungry.
Happy Christmas
I wrapped it up and ate it,
The burrito with all of the sour cream.
Now I know what a fool I've been,
But if you kissed me now,
You wouldn't smell it no more.

Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto Bismol.
Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto,
I'll use some Pepto,
Bismol.
Ooh oh

A crowded room, friend with empty plates
I'm trying to get through
To the buffet bar
My god, I thought that my plate would spill all over
And waste all of that delicious food.
A steak with some clam sauce
And a slice of corn bread.
Some mashed potatoes
And a pie a la mode.
Ooh ooh
Now I'm on the toilet and in a whole bunch of pain.

Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto Bismol.
Last Christmas, all I did was fart
"Cause the very first day, I ate stuff all day,
This year, to save me from tears
I'll use some Pepto,
I'll use some Pepto,
Bismol.
Ooh oh