Now is the moment when you feel so alone
You update your myspace and you wait by the phone
Your little black book has no new names
And every guy just seems the same
You’re getting desperate for someone
Your friend set you up on a blind date
She reassures you this guy is great
Then he shows up at your door

And then you had a bad date
You can’t help but stare
He looks like Chewbacca with a little more hair
He took the bus here
‘Cause he doesn’t drive
His favorite shows are Alf and Babylon 5
You had a bad date
It needs to end soon
You fake that your ill and you run out the room
You had a bad date
You had a bad date

Well your email’s full of match replies
You pick one that seems a normal guy
Then you find how wrong you are

And then you had a bad date
An arrogant clown
He carries a mirror that he never puts down
You find you can’t get
A word in edgewise
While he tells you that he isn’t like other guys
You can’t take much more
You mess up his hair
And you slip away while he’s lost in his mirror
You had a bad date

Now you’ve dated a mime, a transvestite, and a high schooler took you to prom
You answered an ad in the paper, met downtown, and it turned out to be your Uncle Tom
Well, that’s just wrong

His profile says that he’s a modern Don Juan
Oh, but in real life
He’s a fat middle aged man who still lives with his mom

And then you had a bad date
The worst one hands down
He looks like a planet only bigger around
You’re texting your friends
“Get me out of here!”
They execute “Operation Date Disappear”
The power goes out
The restaurant turns black
You run for the door and you don’t look back
You had a bad date
You had a bad date