I got an email with some odd videos
I fired 'em up with all the doors closed
There was a girl, she was playing a game
And it had a strange somewhat foreign name:
Fella-rella-ratio

Then it came to me that I had to know
So round to my girlfriend's, I had to go
To give me an answer, 'cause I had to see
If she would do this odd-named thing for me:
Fertilla-Horatio

Said I want to be Jay
So come on and see
She says Jay is a guy
That I'm not gonna be
I smile and say "Yes?"
She frown and say "No
'Cause down is one place
That I simply won't go
You wanna be Jay
You've run out of luck
I ain't gonna play
And your attitude sucks
You wanna be Jay
Won't get to be Jay"

Trying again - is the answer still "no"?
Play a piped piece on the pork piccolo
Fellas, Cilla-she-say-No!

You wanna be Jay?
Still on about that?
Now please go away
'Cause I'm telling you flat
I ain't gonna kneel
Down there on the floor
'Cause that isn't what a head should be for
You wanna be Jay
Now you're out of luck
Now please go away
'Cause I don't give a... hoot
You wanna be Jay...

(D'Oh.. No be Jay..)

Sometimes you may get blown right away
And the whole thing comes out wrong
In the lottery draw last night
My numbers came up, and I've won
A million

Hmm... with my lottery cash, I might heal this schism
Oh, time to see
Does she still believe [in] vegetarianism?

Now I wanna be Jay
Come, tickle my itch
And think before you say
"No", 'cause I'm rich
You say that you know
You saw on the news
You're telling me "no"
That you cannot refuse
I wanna be Jay
You think it sounds fun
And you're getting a taste
Of what is to come
I wanna be Jay
I wanna be Jay

(Muffled:)
Gotta be Jay (repeat to org.. er.. fade)