Where were the hot girls when you need them the most?
Cause you saw a girl that you thought was quite gross
And now you sit there and you prey
Hoping that she would go away
You wish that she'd carry on

But she does not, she sits right next to you
She puts on a smile and she says that your cute
And she says that you're really, really fine
And you can take her out anytime
I got twenty bucks that says you won't

Cause you had a fat date
You're taking her out
You lost a bet and you look like a clown
She drinks from her hands
And not from a cup
She needs seven chairs just to hold herself up
You had a fat date
Now you're telling lies
You are wishing now, that she'd just leave your sight
You had a fat date
You had a fat date

Well, this ruined your nice Saturday
You're begging that she'd just go away
But she just keeps goin' on and on

You had a fat date
She wasn't too loud
But that was because she was just chowing down
She just picked her nose
And made a weird sound
And, oh yeah, she weighs over 300 pounds
You had a fat date
That just makes you cry
Your whole night is ruined, nothing is alright
You had a fat date
Ohlord help me

Hey man, I'm sorry the night did stink
Ah screw it, the night just sucked
There was not a single limo
So you just got a semi truck
And that's just wrong

You wish you were anywhere, you wish you were lost
Oh my god
The dinner was great till you looked at the cost

Cause you had a fat date
You're now full of doubt
You try to talk, but there's food in her mouth
You really must go
Just make up some lie
Just fake up a smile and you go to your ride
You had a fat date
You've just wasted five
Or six or seven hours out of life
You had a fat date
You had a fat date

Had a fat date
Had a fat date
Had a fat date
Had a fat date
Had a fat date