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Song Parodies -> "If I'm Not A Girl"

Original Song Title:

"If You're Not The One"

Original Performer:

Daniel Bedingfield

Parody Song Title:

"If I'm Not A Girl"

Parody Written by:

Dumb Ass Kid

The Lyrics

If i'm not a girl then why does my voice go high today?
If i'm a real man then why do the people call me gay?
If i'm a tough guy, why do i wear my sister's dress?
If i'm not a girl, then why do i dream of growing breasts?

I know you've seen me wear earrings
And wear mam's nail varnish too
It's saphire blue
And i hope that you won't tell the guys i work with

I don't wanna ask you this but do my thighs stick out in this skirt
If i'm not a complete ponce then why do i go weak when i see dirt?
There's no other guy i know who's voice is this high

If i'm really straight then why do i cry at romance films?
If i'm not a gay then why do i take these hormone pills?
If i'm a dead straight then why do i like Orlando Bloom?
If i'm not confused then why do i take hot guys to my room?

I'm not saying that gays okay
But you're just gonna have to accept
I like this dress
And i wish i that you could find a guy to live with
And i wish that he would be the one i live with
And i'm praying he's the one i share a home with
I hope i'm homo all my life

Please don't ever call me gay
It's undermining - hurts my feelings too
I assure you if you were gay
You wouldn't use that bad word if you knew
That i'm going out dressed as a girl tonight

I have issues, body and soul don't match and it breaks my heart to say
That i love Bloom, here in my heart he'll stay 'til the day that i'm not gay
And it's all true, from wearing you're favourite dress,
To wishing that i had lovely breasts,
Wanna tell mum be my guest

I don't wanna run away but dad can't take it, he can't understand
I really want to be a girl, it's not my fault that i was born a man
I'm running away, forbid to stay, 'cause i'm gay

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tania - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Haha... that's a good one.
Dumb Ass Kid - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx. Did u check out my other parody, 'Stewardess'? I'd be interested to see what u think of that one
Andrew Darwitan - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
5 5 5 Actually I wanna rate you 5 4 5 But... should I? LOL
Dumb Ass Kid - April 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny, Andrew! Thanx for actually taking the time to read my parodies - much appreciated : )
Chick101 - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I am sooo in love with Daniel Bedingfield, so normally this would so piss me off. But, instead it made me giggle. Nice one, and honestly I can't believe I'm saying that!
Dumb Ass Kid - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you chick101 for A) Not taking offence and B) Your kind comments... oh, and your vote! (Duh!)
Brady Twins - July 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Tim: No, man, you're not gay. My brother is. He's a pro cross-dresser. Jim: That's right... (frowns) Hey!
Dumb Ass Kid - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
lol, thanks Bradies!

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