Oh!
Been at the bar for a while now
Been a pretty good night so far
Had quite a lot to drink
Cuz I didn’t come in my car

But Oh!
The tanks filling up now
Better find my way to the loo
But the queue’s really long
So I go to the jukebox
And put on a couple songs

And then I ask a girl to dance (are you serious?)
She said I don’t have a chance (well duh)
But here it comes
And I know
I have to urinate
And then say

Oh!
Move out of the way cuz I need a piss
And I need to jump the queue
And they’re telling me go to the back of the line
But I shout over them
Oh!
Get out of the way cuz I need a piss
Or I will piss over you
And I don’t think that you will really like that

So now I’m finally in the loo
I’ve been holding on for ages
And then I piss for week
And when I finish I do
1, 2 shakes
1, 2 shakes

Now the music is going full blast
And I down a few more pints
But then I get that full feeling
Which makes me shout to anybody near

Oh!
Move out of my way cuz I need a piss
And I’m too far from the loo
But I gotta go quick, cuz I’m pinching my dick
To stop it but it hurts
Move out of the way cuz I need a piss
I think I’ll just find a bush
If there’s none around I’ll just go in the ladies
And then they’ll shout hey!
Don’t come in here if you need a piss
We’re trying to do a poo
So I go back outside and swallow my pride
And do it in a bottle
Don’t worry about me I just did a piss
And it felt really good
Now I can get a few more pints put down me

The landlord just rang the bell
Gave the shout for last orders
So I buy some final vodkas
I see twelve of everyone
Get someone to call a taxi
But before I go, I need to go

Oh!
Move out of the way cuz I need a piss
And I need to jump the queue
Gunna flow like a log flume
Everyone get out quick cuz its gunna fill the whole room
Move out of the way cuz I need a piss
Everyone clear the room
Cuz I can’t keep on holding this one for long