Song Parodies -> "Taut Squirts, Long Gastrics"

Original Song Title:

"Short Skirt, Long Jacket"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

Cake

Parody Song Title:

"Taut Squirts, Long Gastrics"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

Squeeeeeeak
[elongated, rattlesnake-like fart]

I've got a bowel with a mind like a hydrant.
I've got a bowel that flows lots, yes.
I've got a bowel that poos non-stop and
In-sides that churn and spit their mess.

I've got a bowel causing tight defecation.
Through my ass comes guano and multiple scats.
It's spraying out raw sewage here, my farting rents the air.
S***'s pouring down the lavatory and stinking of gas.

I've got a bowel with a taut squirt and some looo...ooong gastrics!

[Straaaiiin]

I've got a bowel that wets from curry. (Wets from curry!)
I've got a bowel that strains and aches. (Strains and aches!)
I've got a bowel that often erupts with dexterity. (Often erupting!)
It usually aint pretty like chocolate thickshakes

My innards wail (A!) from tides of custard. (Hole!)
Really moist, torn apart (A!) my splintered ass. (Hole!)
A cloaca horror, (A!) a sharklike attack. (Hole!)
S***'s pouring down the lavatory (A!) it slips down my crack. (Hole!)

I've got a bowel with a taut squirt and some loooooong, long gastrics!

[Colon solo]

Bummer bummer bummer!
Bummer bummer BUMMER!
Caca caca caca!
Caca caca CACA!
Guano guano guano!
Guano guano GUANO!

Bummer bummer bummer!
Bummer bummer BUMMER!
Caca caca caca!
Caca caca CACA!
Guano guano guano!
Guano guano GUANO!

I've got a bowel with some loose liquidation. (Loose liquidation!)
I've got a bowel with bold intestines. (Bold intestines!)
I'd s*** a tank. What I eat craps out mentally! (It craps out mentally!)
I'll fart then squawk as my torso tightens

I want a plug (A!) that will stop colon unrest! (Hole!)
I want a plug (A!) up my rectum, yeah. (Hole!)
My caecum's inflamed (A!) I'm s**tty, ya hearin'? (Hole!)
I'll trade in my ass here for a quiet pipes-n-pump system

I've got a bowel with a taut squirt and some loooooong gastrics!

[Flatulent solo]

Bummer bummer bummer!
Bummer bummer BUMMER!
Caca caca caca!
Caca caca CACA!
Guano guano guano!
Guano guano GUANO!

Bummer bummer bummer!
Bummer bummer BUMMER!
Caca caca caca!
Caca caca CACA!
Guano guano guano!
Guano guano GUANO!

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User Comments

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Red Ant - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment

"cloaca horror". LOL.

Yet Another Dutchman - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment

Advice: don't look BACK. Just don't.

Claude Prez - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment

Mmmm nothing beats a good flatulent solo. This gave me bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse. In a good way, though. Seriously, I love Cake. And cake. Clever matches throughout as usual; well done.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 14, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanky-di-danx to Red Ant, LOL Yet Another Dutchman and true dat, Claude Prez!

Peter Andersson - May 06, 2018 - Report this comment

This parody is the s***! (And that's all I have to say about that).

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