I'm out one night, just on the prowl
And then my stomach starts to growl.
Suddenly I rush back home
I plonk my butt upon the throne.

Oh sure, I have a case of gas,
But something clogging my a**.
I try to push, I try to strain,
But all I do is raise the pain...

Chorus
That's what I gotta poo for.
I know it isn't real, though.
Though I'm pushing harder,
It will not go much farther.
That's what I gotta poo for
I know it isn't real though.
One thing that I hated,
Was getting constipated.
That's what I gotta poo for x2

Five hours and I'm still on the bog,
And still I haven't hatched a log.
Am I such a screwed up nerd
That I can't even lay a turd?

The only thing here to be seen,
A broomstick and some vaseline.
I spread the grease upon the pole
And stick it up the bunged up hole.

Chorus

Suddenly, with a noisy howl
Gas and turds fly outta my bowel.
I guess, that's why
My hole's beginning to fry.
I sit down on the floor,
Knowing that was what I had to poo for....
What I had to poo for....

I heave a great sigh of relief,
And then I wipe my underneath.
I wash my hands and leave the room,
Leaving behind some stinky fumes.

Chorus x2