GET A BARBIE
(Wants To Be Me)

I walked to Toys R Us
Motorway gave me blisters
I couldn't wait no more
Only 9 Months to Christmas
I had too much to buy
Stressed out beyond belief
And when I reached the door
I grabbed a trolley and ran.

I passed the crappy toys
Cheap shit that's made in china,
I stopped and stared at dolls
With penis and vaginas.
Yo-Yo's and Rubix cubes
Beyblade, Yatzhee and Twister
There's just so much to chose,
What shall I get my sister?

CHORUS

She wants and screams and begs Sindy
But I've got standards, can't she see?
I've been tellin her...
Sindy's a slag with a face like a hamster
A limited wardrobe
What have I got to do to make her see?
My sister doesn't want Sindy,
She's shit
Get a Barbie!

Barbie is nice and tanned
petite and slim, a looker
Her breasts are always firm,
She'd make a smashing hooker.
There is a boyfriend Ken
He wears Sandals and socks
She'll never have his kids,
Coz he cums in his own box.

My time was running out
I had to buy her something.
Else christmas day would come
And I would give her nothing.

I did a trolley dash
I looked a proper plonker
Bop-it, jigsaws, toy cars,
Action man helicopter.

Chorus
She wants and screams and begs Sindy
But I've got standards, can't she see?
I've been tellin her...
Sindy's a slag with a face like a hamster
A limited wardrobe
What have I got to do to make her see?
My sister doesn't want Sindy,
She's shit
Get a Barbie!

Queuing at checkout 4
reaching for crisps and fruit shoot
The girl in front is strange,
She smells of pickled beetroot,
What have I got my sister?
I'd better put it back.
I'll buy her socks and undies,
Can't risk getting all this crap.

Chorus
She wants and screams and begs Sindy
But I've got standards, can't she see?
I've been tellin her...
Sindy's a slag with a face like a hamster
A limited wardrobe
What have I got to do to make her see?
My sister doesn't want Sindy,
She's shit
Get a Bar...
Get a Bar...
Get a Barbie.