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Song Parodies -> "Napolitano"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Brian Setzer Orchestra

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

I can't believe I'm attempting this. This tune (original lyrics in Italian) has no rhyme-scheme in translation to speak of, an irregular meter of syllables, and tricky rhythms. But, "The system worked." That's what you get when you have a Homeland Security Director who calls terrorist attacks "mad-caused disasters", believes that our greatest terrorism threat comes from conservatives and veterans, and asserts that illegally crossing the borders "isn't a crime per se". ;D

She's Homeland Sec but the job she cannot master,
Calls terrorist attacks "man-caused disasters."
Bombers on the watch list still get past her,
But she still claims that her pet "system worked."

It must be Jan Napolitano! Napolitano! Napolitano!
Obama backs her all the way.
Undocumented illegal crossing of the border
Just "isn't a crime per se."

She says the only threats
Are right wing folks and vets.
One thing she never gets!
She's issued orders - do not enforce the borders!

Yes it's Jan Napolitano! Napolitano! Napolitano!
Claims the 9/11 gang came here from Canada! Oh dang!
Say what? No way! Oh man!
That's the thinking of old Jan.
Not a clue and not a plan!

(Instrumental Break)

She's one of Obama's star appointees
So she won't get the boot for all this fuss.
Like his Social Sec, czars, and annointees
He'll throw somebody else under the bus!

Won't part with Jan Napolitano! Napolitano! Napolitano!
'Though she's making such a mess
She's bringing changing that's far-ranging but they're strange things.
She's disaster in a dress!

The borders she won't guard,
No money she devotes.
She plays Obama's card:
Let them in so ACORN creeps can cast their votes!

Oh yeah, it's Napolitano! Napolitano! Napolitano!
Can she keep us all secure?
Why's Obama being so demure?
Oh crap! Look out! Oh man!
Save us all from useless Jan!
Not a clue and not a plan!
Might as well be in Iran!

Whew! There may be a few glitches and hiccups, but I can sing it mean task with my ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Andria - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Great one! If the Department of Homeland Security, along with the rest of the federal government, couldn't stop some idiot from trying to blow up an airplane, then we might as well replace everyone in the federal government, from the president on down, with terrorists. 5s.
Patrick - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
The terrorists won't take away our guns, our cold medicine, or our freedom to visit Canada. The Chinese won't lend them trillions of dollars, so we won't be able to get as deep in debt. Their standard of living is much lower, meaning lower taxes for us to pay. Sure, we'll have to bend over to face Mecca, but is that much different from bending over to Washington?
LittleCUPcakes - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
What is it about always placing " a Janet " in this position ? ! ? ! Clearly, this is job for 'Ceegar Chompin' CowBoy Dave!
TJC - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Bravo! I laud you with high Pauvaratings!
blackjack21 - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Looks good from here, 555.
Barry J. Mitchel - January 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Was "mad-caused disasters" in your Intro a typo or deliberate? It fits, and it's not gender-biased! Even words like "master" (line 1) are. Does Jan's Napping make you wary in January? LoL! IDKTOS but I'm giving 5554U.
Old Man Ribber - January 05, 2010 - Report this comment
It was a typo, but had an accidentally positive effect. ;D
Mark Scotti - January 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Bravo, que bella!!!!
John Jenkins - January 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Putting Janet Napolitano in charge of homeland security was a "man-caused disaster." Well expressed, OMR.

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