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Song Parodies -> "No Drunks In The Park"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Phunk With My Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Black Eyed Peas

Parody Song Title:

"No Drunks In The Park"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

No real story behind this one. I just had the song stuck in my head
No no no no
No drunks in the park
No no no no
No drunks in the park

Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister
Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister

Sir this is a public venue
Don't need to be smart like Ken to
Know that I can't let you
In here if you have had ten brews
If you get sick I must clean it
Save me work and leave I mean it
What I've said has been ignored, so
(If you don't leave)
I will call the four oh

No, no, no, no
No drunks in the park

Why will you not listen, listen?
That's no place for pissin', pissin'
Now it seems you cause fainting
And you just destroyed that guy's painting
No surprise he is shouting
You just ruined a lot of outings
How can I get through all the alcohol?
Just leave sir, don't stall


Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister
Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister

No, no, no, no
No drunks in the park

Slurring cursewords like gad dommit
You're destructive like a comet
I'll photograph your vomit
And find a way to show your mom it
You were sick, I'm sick too
I'm just sick of dealing with you
I just wish I had a clue
If there is something that I can do

No, no, no, no
No drunks in the park

Your path's e–lip-ti-cal
You are hammered but not sickled
And now it seems that you're a stone's throw
From students of a dojo
What you said was a no-no
You shouldn't dis their mojos
Your mind today's a no-show
You might end up like dodos
Just wiped out

You're to blame for the insane beating
Since you should have been at an AA meeting

I guess I should call the cops
To make all the fighting stop
But in the john my phone was dropped
Oh well

That-that-that-that-that-must hurt ( repeat 6X)


No no no no
No drunks in the park
No no no no
No drunks in the park

Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister
Don't come here you should go back home
I can smell your booze, mister
Shoo, mister

You're to blame for the insane beating
Since you should have been at an AA meeting

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   2
 0
 1
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   5
 1
 2
 
 5   12
 17
 15
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dumb Ass Kid - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
very funny indeed! Probs the funniest i've read, but the first line of your chorus is off. Perhaps shorten it to just "Don't come here just go back home"? Just a suggestion : ). Everywhere else, superb 545
Olvan The Terrible - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
BWAH HA HA! I can just picture the music video, Fergie and her bandmates walking around Central Park and picking fights with random hoboes.
Dumb Ass Kid - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: Already voted and commented
Agrimorfee - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Not too familiar with this, but you certainly got a lot out of mileage out of it, humorwise.
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So AA meetings can prevent acts of violence? Cool. 5's
Red Ant - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yeah, drunks get to an AA meeting. Love the "gad dommit"/"vomit" part and the "hammered but not sickled" line. A reference to Russian vodka I suppose?
Rick C - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Funny one, DAK. 5s
Rick C. - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I meant Ethan, not DAK.
Charlie Decker - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good one, Ethan. I've also had the OS stuck in my head for quite a while.
Adagio - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) DKTOS, but it was a good read.
Scathe - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very well done, Ethan.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
As good as if written from personal experience (I worked in a hotel/bar for a while, so I can tell). :-)
Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Judging by one of the comments above, there's at least one drunk in the park.
Ethan Mawyer - June 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Michael - what comment? was it deleted? everyone else (except the anonymous ones givers) - thanks
Michael Pacholek - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I had a feeling it might be deleted. Somebody just typed a bunch of letters over and over again. It might have been a room full of drunkys... not to be confused with A Room Full of Monkeys.
Ethan Mawyer - June 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I actually did see that and tried to make sense of it, failed, and forgot about it until now.
Emily Cale - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought it was SOOOO hilarious!!!Except,I think it sounds gross!
John Jenkins - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Good message presented without being too preachy. Best verse is the "dommit/comet/vomit/mom it" verse.
Spaff.com - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Lotsa great bits, E-Thang. Some standouts for me: "You just destroyed that guy's painting"; "gad dommit"; "hammered but not sickled"; and of course the meeting/beating couplet.
Spaff.com - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
P.S. I just now saw the Peas sing this on Leno. (The original, unfortunately - not your version.) Fergie can phunk with my heart ANY TIME.
Loretto - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Now this is better than the original text! Whats with the SOTM?
Mikey Squirrel - June 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very funny, Ethan. I like the way you made the rhymes (dommit, vomit, comet, mom it!) This would go good with my 'If You're Bombed' by Matchbox 20. 'Cuz let's face it, public drunkeness is just darned funny. Tri-Fives (hic).
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Love the section that starts with "dojo" !
Arwen - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--you should probably not hold it against me that I've never heard the OS...=( Does it count that I really want to? Sorry...
Stuart McArthur - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - you've nailed all the possibilities this scenario suggested, Ethan, and some fickung great rhyming too, gad dommit!
Jeff Reuben - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Just heard this a few times during lunch, well done!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Awesome rhyming, laugh-out-loud moments and a great concept. "Can ya shhpare me summ fivers?"
2nz - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Doh, DKTOS but great rhymes throughout, and even I can appreciate a couplet like:
"You're to blame for the insane beating
Since you should have been at an AA meeting"
Kristof Robertson - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job, Ethan...want to take a hit on my 40? :-)
RoXY - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
nice.. im workin on one "dont shop at walmart" he he he..

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