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Song Parodies -> "Blonde"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Ben Folds

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Lots of dumb blonde jokes out there. Thought I'd compile what I could. Enjoy, all you non-blondes. If you're a blonde, just message me if you want an explanation for any of the jokes :cD.
You think that the inVader is a Darth
When a cop yells out ‘PULL OVER’, you say ‘It’s a scarf’
You think doggy-style means you say ‘arf arf arf’
Think seven dined
And ate nine
So I-I will consider you blonde

Avoid the traffic, driving on the curb
And get locked in rooms when doors say “don’t disturb”
If you think that “Black and Decker” has two verbs
Stare when juice states:
Then I-I will…
Then I-I will consider you blonde

Blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde, blonde

You’re correct, to ‘turn right’
You see ‘left’, and leave the site
You’re always lost, end up in ponds
Since you’re blonde


You stop to get directions when you fall
Confused they know “you’re here” while at the mall
If you seek male escorts at “Big N Tall”
And men freeze (Can’t believe)
When you squeeze (And you tease)
Double-D (Double-D baby, double-D baby)
Batteries (better, batteries)
So I-I will
So I-I will
Yeah, I-I-I will consider you...

Copyright 2012+ Glen Stollberger

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Matthias - April 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Dude! I freaking love Ben Folds! They're one of my favorite bands and they're totally under appreciated on this site! I'm glad you were able to do them right! Sweet original song, sweet parody!
WarrenB - April 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Got all the jokes, and especially loved the 'concentrate' line.
Agrimorfee - February 14, 2014 - Report this comment
Welcome to the Artistry Round 2nz! Stick around. Good jokes all over the place, worth reading/listening more than once!
Abbott Skelding - February 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Surprisingly, I have never heard the OS before...but if I had, I probably would have come up with the same idea for a spoof as you. I'm glad someone was able to, because this was really well done and a lot of funny lines too (the "male escort at Big N Tall" being one of my favorites). Nice work!
Max Power - February 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Now turn's always in my head.
bobpiecheese - February 25, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I like to think that since you kept the "consider you" bit from the OS, that the "blonde" in question isn't actually literally so, but is simply as ditzy and befuddled as the stereotypical blonde. Because I'm mad. Anywho, pretty good parody, even if "dumb blonde" jokes were never really funny to me. 555!
Blaydeman - February 25, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) While I don't agree that some of these things are exclusive to blondes. I still thought it was pretty dang funny.

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