It is constant, and it is very shrill
And it has gone on for the last two hours
I understand that you’ve just mastered it
But now you must master knowing when to quit
Knowing when to quit

Please stop whistling
Because it is really irritating me
Please stop whistling
Or I’ll shove a saltine into your mouth
There’s much more I can say, much more I can do
But I hope not to do that to you
So please stop whistling
And keep your lips zipped for a while

Those darned earplugs are so far away
Otherwise I’d put them on, go 'bout my day
Because your whistling is hurting my ears
And your tunelessness is bringing me to tears
Bringing me to tears, make it end

Please stop whistling
Because it is really irritating me
Please stop whistling
Or I’ll shove a saltine into your mouth
There’s much more I can say, much more I can do
But I hope not to do that to you
So please stop whistling
And keep your lips zipped for a while

Hear me when I say, when I say, “Please stop now.”
I will warn you now I have saltines on my person
I’m sure as hell not afraid of taking them out
If. I. Need. To.

Please stop whistling
Because it is really irritating me
Please stop whistling
Or I’ll shove a saltine into your mouth
There’s much more I can say, much more I can do
But I hope not to do that to you
So please stop whistling
And keep your lips zipped for a while

Please stop whistling
Please stop whistling

There’s much more I can say, much more I can do
But I hope not to do that to you
So please stop whistling
And keep your lips zipped for a while