He was a bore, all dressed in grey
can a leader be so damn tedious
His party stiffed, on voting day
Predictable? hey?

his politics? boring as hell
slept with an ex-minister as well
but his cabinet's, also done so
their big advantage - it's "nobody knows"

Major's a Tory Boy, and he brought new Labour joy
he wasn't much good as leader
A bank manager's face, manifesto's empty space
lying once again will never work

Four years come round, Hague is alone
people who see him think he's a joke
the party he leads, silently leave
blaming it all on the BBC

and his backbenchers, say he should go
but they can't get him out of the pub though
he blags along, and gets the thumbs down
how much worse can that party get now?

Hague was a Tory Boy, and he brought new Labour joy
he wasn't much good as leader
used to be off his face, for fourteen beers he need's space
lying once again will never work

sorry tory's are washed out, new labour's in power now
on godwill you can't depend, this is how the Tory's end
too bad that you couldn't see, your unpopularity
now it's your turn to resign, say good riddance not goodbye

he's so quiet, and we just don't care
could he be so much more anonymous
where's I.D.S, I haven't heard
heard him say a single word

Smith is th Tory Boy, and he brought new Labour joy
he wasn't much good as leader
A forgetable face, the party's sunk without trace
lying once again will never work