Is Pat a boy? Is Pat a girl?
Could you please make it more obvious?
Look at the name, look at the hair,
You can't tell at all,

I can see Pat,
On SNL,
I am waiting for its gender to jell,
But I cannot wait,
Until the show,
When I will hopef'lly know,

Pat could be a formal boy,
A slightly un-normal boy,
With a voice as annoying as a gnat,
Pat could be a larger girl,
Hair that makes stylists hurl,
Either way it is still Pat,

On Saturdays now,
I watch the show,
Waiting for that special episode,
I turned on TV,
I've watched since Tuesday,
Hey, I don't wanna miss it you all know,
When the show ends,
I still won't know,
But that's what obsessive fans websites are fo',
I hear my phone,
It's ringing quite loud,
But can't miss this scene today,

Pat could be a stranger dude,
Gets normal people in bad moods,
Never giving suggestions,
Could be a weird lady,
SNL cast must hate me,
Now that's a silly question,

Could be a zombie guy,
An alien Nazi spy,
A monster from the black lagoon,
An X-Men reject gal,
A Martian's greatest pal,
Backup singer for Ozzy Osbourne,

Could be hermaphrodite,
Wow!
Did Pat's voice change just now?!
Or was that my next-door friends?
Oh great! Now the episode ends,
Now time to go to my PC,
Chat with junkies just like me,
And see if they got more hints than I,
I'll check all 270 websites,

Half votes say boy,
Half votes say girl,
I still've no idea either way,
I order out,
And sit on my couch,
Guess I will wait for next Saturday,

Pat could be a happy man,
A hard core sweater vest fan,
In the shape of bloated bee hive,
Pat could be a female,
I'll write them an e-mail,
To the makers of Saturday Night Live,

Pat maybe is an all-male,
Got its suit at an old garage sale,
Maybe we'll just never know,
Pat might be an older lass,
Just likes to 'noy and harass,
I will sit here 'till the next show!