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Song Parodies -> "The CPAP Song"
Original Song Title:
"Rehab"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Amy Winehouse
Parody Song Title:
"The CPAP Song"
Parody Written by:
Sharon "Parodiva" Krebs
The Lyrics
Author's Note: This is a personal anecdote only. I am by no means discouraging any reader from using a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine to treat sleep apnea. If you can tolerate the use of one, more power to you!
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
Had to have a sleep study done.
I’ve got mild sleep apnea,
So a CPAP was recommended for me,
But it’s done more harm than good, you see.
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
The pressure was set only to four,
But I had felt more pressure from that mask,
That mask won’t make me not snore,
So I always took that damn mask off!
Doc said, “You should get a new mask”,
But no “Darth Vader” will do the task!
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
I won’t ever use that thing again.
I just can’t succumb to such pain.
I’m just gonna spray my mouth
With anti-snore spray kept by my bed.
It’s not that I’m cheap,
It’s just that I need my sleep!
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
Had to have a sleep study done.
I’ve got mild sleep apnea,
So a CPAP was recommended for me,
But it’s done more harm than good, you see.
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
The pressure was set only to four,
But I had felt more pressure from that mask,
That mask won’t make me not snore,
So I always took that damn mask off!
Doc said, “You should get a new mask”,
But no “Darth Vader” will do the task!
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
I won’t ever use that thing again.
I just can’t succumb to such pain.
I’m just gonna spray my mouth
With anti-snore spray kept by my bed.
It’s not that I’m cheap,
It’s just that I need my sleep!
They tried to make me wear a CPAP,
I said, “No, no, no!”
Can’t wear that mask
And care’s such a task,
You know, know, know.
It keeps me awake
‘Cause the pain’s too much to take,
So I ain’t gonna wear no CPAP,
It’s no go, go, go!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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My dad and brother-in-law have those things. I don't see how anyone could sleep with that mechanical monstrosity on their face. I don't know the OS well enough, but I'll trust the pacing. 555 for the unique subject.
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