They tried to make me pay full retail but I said 'no, no, no'
I'll pay wholesale, or wait for a sale, then go, go, go
If you sell me trash, you know I won't waste all my cash
Don't try to make me pay full retail, 'cause I'll say yo--go blow

I'd rather try and make my luck
I ain't got seventy bucks
Cause there's no way
There's now way you can get me
To pay the price they charge at Sears Roebucks

I rarely spend much time in malls
When bargaining a deal, I've got balls

They tried to make me pay full retail but I said 'no, no, no'
I'll pay wholesale, or wait for a sale, then go, go, go
I think it's a crime for twelve to cost more than a dime
Don't try to make me pay full retail, 'cause I'll say dude, go blow

The man said 'why not buy wholesale?'
I said 'check is in the mail;
I'm gonna, I'm gonna get that bargain
Even if it's for ten pounds of kale
He said 'I just think you're obsessed,
To find bargains or you won't rest.'

They tried to make me pay full retail but I said 'no, no, no'
I'll pay wholesale, or wait for a sale, then go, go, go
I sure have a feel to sniff out some awesome deals
Don't try to make me pay full retail, 'cause I'll be a no-show

I don't ever wanna shop again
I just, ooh, just need to spend
I'm not gonna blow a grand
On a overpriced video cam

It's bargains I prize
Even when it's the wrong size

They tried to make me pay full retail but I said 'no, no, no'
I'll pay wholesale, or wait for a sale, then go, go, go
If you sell me trash, you know I won't waste all my cash
Don't try to make me pay full retail, 'cause I'll say dude, go blow