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Song Parodies -> "Won't Pick You"

Original Song Title:

"Miss You"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Won't Pick You"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

When the high school bully gets stuck picking out his new Dodgeball team he really has a hard time about it...
No-no-no-no-no-nooooooo... Nooooo....

Need to be strong when you're on my team, dude
Whatta whole bunch of newbs!
They've got me weeding through worthless rubes
(You're all boobs)
Most of you don't know the game and think sports are crude
This one tart's half blind
This other's high and fried
Won't pick you

Time for Dodgeball
In gym class today
Banged up you fools
My balls slapped your cheeks
Me and my friends
Are jock bastards
We made it sting
When nerds got plastered
Now they're gone and I'm stuck with all you weird cows
My pals are in detention from freakin' dorks out
This pack... Of dweebs...
Is picked... By me... (Bawlin')
This stinks... Game's lost... (With you)
We're screwed... But I

Need to be strong and grab a few of you
I know we're gonna lose
Once I was creamin' you, Blockhead goofs
Grumbling, You're outta shape but you're on my crew
When getting struck you'll whine
Cause your glass eye will fly
Won't pick you

These dweebs make me sneer
They have no clue
How to play, They're so impaired
It's driving me crazy
They don't know what to do
Watch them blunderin' in wheelchairs
Ball goes an inch when it is thrown
Your team's killin' mine
And these poindexters bring me strife as they're smacked in the face, Crazy...
These hacks... All stink....
You're huge... They squeak... (Squealin')
Fearing... Fallin'...(And bruised)
Abused... But I

Had to be strong and snag the best of you
Blonde in high heel shoes
I'd like to sleep with you but you blew
Did your make-up through the game, Think your brain's unglued
You're knocked down and cry
You made me roll my eyes
I picked you?!

This team's all wrong, I need back my bros soon
They were as tough as goons
Designed for beating groups of dweeb troops
Lumberin' brutes were trained to lean down and swoop
And destroy nerd spines
To make balls fly, They're primed
Miss them dudes

I picked you?!
Aye-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi (I picked you?!)

I... can't... (Aye-Yi) stand... these... dorks... (These d-o-o-o-o-o-orks, No-o-o)
Want to cause them pain by all these red balls we're lobbin'
After class I'm shoving
Trekkies and stomp on their damn feet
Now I'm screwed, Here in this classroom

Please prove me wrong and show me that you're cool (Like a film made by John Hughes)
Lace up your tennis shoes!
Because dress ones won't do, Get a clue! (No-oo-oo-oo-oo)
Where did you learn how to aim?! You just hit the roof!
Keep it a straight line
Crack that guy not the lights! (No-oo-oo-oo-oo)
I picked you?!
Why did my throng turn and nail me, dude?!
(Those creeps just knocked out my tooth) (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, no-o-o-o-o-ooh)
They think that I'm a douche
Gave me a beating, true, head's unscrewed
Sick of me calling them lame, I'm beaten and bruised
They're such lowly slime
But damn that dyke can strike
I picked you!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

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