Ouch!
That smarts!
So destructive

(Jeff)
I just landed a Belly Flop
That pool made my body stop
From the diving board I hopped
The impact made me hurt a lot (Ow!)

(Girlfriend)
You went and pulled a Belly Flop
Went swimming when it’s hot
Since we can’t spend it on a yacht
We went down to that water park (Yup!)

(Jeff)
I am in immense pain! How did this happen?
The high dive climbed up it was an entrapment
Kids were chastising me as up here I trembled
Up ten floors I bet bravery dissembled
Yeah, We were up in the clouds had to be nimble
Those kids called me “Whimpo” the board I gripped, Yo!
And then I fell it was accidental
Tried to reach for the board, Gravity said “You’re screwed”
The water I hit was a cold shocker
It was not pleasing, Dudes cringed and became gawkers
You’re not supposed to hit your tummy, It’s painful
Since I dropped like a sack of bricks into cold water
Though it’s nice and wet, Stings more than bit
If I am acting upset try yourself to get hit
Don’t want to complain, baby, Just act like a man
But need to say “Ouch” girl, Wasn’t my plan (Nuh-uh!)

I did another Belly Flop
You think that I would learn to stop
The stinging makes me have to sob
Keeps aching and my guts red hot (Ouch!)

(Girlfriend)
You keep pulling off Belly Flops
The Kid Pool should be your spot
Since now your whole body throbs
Keep jumping and get massive swats (Yikes!)

(Jeff and Girlfriend)
Pools aren’t too fun (Aren’t too fun)
They hurt a ton (They hurt a ton)
Might cure the sun (Cure the sun)
But diving boards are shun (Oh yeah)

(Jeff)
When planning out our outing, Where to go
I would swap a pool trip for Texaco
I should have hit the ground, It’d be softer
And who wants to swim around in piss?
I think I’ll stick to the shore since I forgot to pack my flippers
Woman’s on my case “Can’t we just be dippers?”
This park ain’t all demonic, It’s iconic on our feet we wear thongs
I should take a swimming class, Don’t have the brawn
To jump from that board just one more time
My chick just takes off, Checks out the lifeguard guy
He’s so rugged, Blows that whistle and her mind
I’ll hit it once mo’ just to prove I won’t whine
I come prepared for dropping but I’m not belly flopping
Start to fret and sweat, Damn, Veins are popping
Seeing my dame sustained watching the guard throttle his tube
Just then I slip on a puddle and I fumbled, Ah shoot!

Again I did a Belly Flop
My stomach is about to pop
The splash makes you need a mop
I swear that I am such a Klutz! (Ouch!)

(Girlfriend)
Again you did a Belly Flop
But boy is this lifeguard hot
He looks like David Hasslehoff
Try drowning just to kiss this hunk (Whoa!)

(Jeff)
I’m tired of these Belly Flops
Just feeling like I’m Judo-Chopped
Can’t just dip in with a plop
Won’t give this place another shot (Nope!)

(Girlfriend)
I can’t believe you spent a wad
To try out for the Diving Squad
Cause Swimming is one big façade
You thought you’d be having tons of fun (Nope!)