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Music Jokes -> Elton John

Jokes about Elton John from the largest music humor site on the web. Check out the index for other performers we have jokes about.

Elton John - Greatest Hits 1970-2002 album at

"Hello, bandwagon? Yes, Elton John here, I was just wondering if there were any more seats left?"

- Submitted by: Robert D. Arndt Jr.

Did you hear about Elton John's new album featuring 'Candle in the Wind?
They decided not to call it 'Live in Paris'.

Elton John is now writing his next song about himself...
It's called 'Like a Gerbil in the Wind.'

Elton John is writing a tribute for Mother Teresa.
He's calling it 'Sandals in the Bin'.

In the early days of his career, Elton John was approached to do background music for a movie. He wrote the music without seeing the script, so, when the previews came up, he arrived at the cinema wondering what the movie would be like. Looking around, he noticed he was sitting next to Alice Cooper. When the movie started, Elton was stunned to discover it was one of the hardest hard-core porn films he'd ever seen. Deeply embarrassed, he turned to Alice and whispered 'Actually, I only came along to hear my music.'
'Yeah, man', said Alice, 'and I only came along to see my snake.'

Interviewer: Is that really your hair?
Elton John: Yes of course, I've got the receipt.

- Submitted by: Smitty Warbenmanjenson

My grandfather once received a letter from the Queen on his birthday. How nice is that? Elton actually replying to fan mail!!!

- Submitted by: Robert D. Arndt Jr.

Q. Why did Elton John take so many baths A. He was just tryna stay clean.

- Submitted by: Definitely not actually sarah sgro lol

Q: What's the similarity between Richard Hammond* & Elton John?
A: They both have skid marks on their helmet.

(*UK TV motoring presenter who crashed nearing 300mph on a shoot in Sep 06 & was ok)

Q: Why was Elton John invited to Diana's memorial? A: So that at least ONE old queen would cry!

- Submitted by: Robert D. Arndt Jr.

To commemorate the anniversary of Whitney Houston's death, Elton John will be releasing a tribute single called "Candle Under The Spoon".

- Submitted by: Tim

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Princess Diana never became a queen of England


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