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Music Jokes -> Eminem

Jokes about Eminem from the largest music humor site on the web. Check out the index for other performers we have jokes about.

Chuck Norris can look at a clock, flex and turn back time. Eminem can look at a clock tilt his head and change it back.

- Submitted by: Waylon Few

Did you hear about eminem? He married a skittle and is living in hawaii now with three candy-babies.

- Submitted by: Gray

Don't mess with Eminem because he's straight out the hood.. that's right, his mom gave birth to him on the hood of the trailer.

- Submitted by: Gatti

Dude 1: Oh my god yesterday I saw Eminem! Dude2: The rapper? Dude 1: No dude the candy! Eminem: *walks in from no where* Oh my god really?!? Dude 1: Yeah! Dude 2: oh my god it's Eminem! Eminem and Dude 1: WHERE?!?

- Submitted by: Jewell

Eminem don't hit girls he wrappa slappa them

- Submitted by: Jack Parry

Eminem is a candy wrapper.

- Submitted by: Turtle

Eminem is so stupid that if my dog was that stupid he could walk backwards and wag his head or he would shave his head and call it his butt.

- Submitted by: John David

Eminem looks like the guy from Eiffel 65 (I'm blue da ba de) only you were too busy pretending he wrote his own songs and beats that you didn't pay attention. :)

- Submitted by: Scream

Eminem walked up to Chuck Norris and said, "I'm Not Afraid," so Chuck Norris said, "I Love the Way You Lie."

- Submitted by: Daniel Lipok

Eminem's new record sucked so much that he is now going to have to make a new record, making fun of his last one.

- Submitted by: Blinky

Eminem, can't be both the candy and the wrapper.

- Submitted by: Greatone

Eminem, he ain't playing! He's got a Peanut for a brain!

- Submitted by: Blink

Eminem, you are what you eat. Candy boy.

- Submitted by: slick

Eminem: I can't be your Superman Me: I love the way you lie Eminem: I'm not afraid Me: your my rap god..... And I'm here in Shady's world

- Submitted by: Maddie

Guy 1: What would happen if Eminem became anorexic, and started wearing sunglasses from now on?
Guy2: He'd be the 'Real' Slim Shady

- Submitted by: Joel Martinez

Guy1: Do you know Eminem's favorite kinda of girl! Guy2: Black girls, Skinny girls, fat girls Im calling all girls! Guy1: I was gonna say the white ones that cheat on you and tell you your obsessed! Guy2: Where you talking? I was singing an Eminem song you know before he was gay! Guy1: WHAT! Hes not gay! Guy2: Sing this song! Guy1: I was born with a dick in my brain/ Yeah fucked in the head/ My step father said that I sucked in the bed! Guy2: uh-huh Guy1: I dont like you Jesus! First you say Santa isnt real! Then you say my mom is a prostitute! Whats next are you going to say Jay-Z worships the devil! Jesus: Fucking Idiot!

- Submitted by: XXX

Hailie's song starts....... Eminem: yo, I can't sing Me : I love the way u lie

- Submitted by: Kabir

I hate when you;re the real slim shady but everyone else stands up

- Submitted by: Jak Frost catch me on reverbnation

If Eminem was a good at basketball as he is rapping, he would be picked before the black kids.

- Submitted by: jimmy

Man: Did you hear that Eminem failed high school?
Other man: Well, he's no Smartie!

- Submitted by: Kira gendmen

Person 1: Do you like Eminem? Person 2: I prefer Skittles. Person 1: No, I mean the rapper. Person 2: Who eats the wrapper?!

- Submitted by: Snice

Singers are like candy......
Throw out all the 'wrappers' especially 'M&M's

- Submitted by: parody_MASTA

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog: "You're hair is a beagle's n*****k."
Eminem: "You better shut your mouth before I bust you up!"
Robert Smigel (the puppetteer): "Hey, calm down; it was just a joke!"
Eminem: "I wasn't talkin' to you, yo; I was talkin' to that dog!"

- Submitted by: Gary Phelps

What is Eminem's favorite paper?
Wrapping paper.

- Submitted by: Michael

When some one throws me skittles and say taste the rainbow! I throw M&Ms and scream"I'm not afraid!"

- Submitted by: Marisol Reyes

You know why Eminem isn't a Cage fighter? because they don't' have a ''Wuss'' Division.

- Submitted by: Squarenote

Your mommas so stupid I asked her to go to the store and buy me some M&M's and she came back with the Marshall Mathers LP 2

- Submitted by: Christina

.guy 1- i love eminem. .guy 2- i like skittles better. .guy 1- no the rapper idiot.! .guy 2- you the idiot, and anyway, whats so good about eminem wrappers??

- Submitted by: kiki m12

Dear Eminem, We have a lot in common. We both have the same name and black on the inside. Can you guess Who I am? From, M&M

- Submitted by: sue zhang

KID 1: my dads a police man KID 2:my dads a fire man, beat that KID 3:my dads a moviestar, BEAT THAT HAILIE:a moviestar, ppfftt, my dads EMINEM, sit down and shut up.

- Submitted by: no.1_eminem_fan

What did the piece of toast say to eminem. Toast: just gonna stand there and watch me burn

- Submitted by: brandon.

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